haha Miss Me?

I had a pretty entertaining week. Like watching 3 Seasons of How I Met Your Mother is pretty entertaining. 2 more seasons to go! ahaha. At the moment, I really wanna watch Harper's Island. That would be the weekend.

Entering this biathlon thing next month. It's like a swim plus run thing. So I went swimming last Tuesday to kinda like test out how I fit I am and if I could actually finish the whole race. OMG I am so unfit!!!! Like ever since I got sick 2 weeks ago, I haven't exercised even once. Today I got off my nicely rounded butt *cough* to test out the 'running' part. 3 km and I'm dead tired.

How to finish 6 km? Plus swim I dunno how many km.

I've got a month to go. Should be can la. Just gotta up the stamina a bit. Chocolate plus seaweed makes up an awesome snack.

This semester, I hate Kampar. I dunno why. I just dislike this place so much right now. All I wanna do is go back to Ipoh all the time and when I'm in Ipoh, all I wanna do is stay in Ipoh and not go back to Kampar all the time.

Drag myself to class everyday. Drag myself out of bed, into the toilet then all the way to uni and class. So much dragging I do. At this rate, I would have dragged myself to fitness by next week.

Tamil class is killing me. So is Moral class. Tamil cause the hours are so long and Moral cause it's in Malay. Help la weh. Some who have actually heard my Malay cringe when they see me write or speak.

Yor... I wanna go home la and I wanna go continue the next two seasons la. Faster I finish watching, faster the addiction will just go away.

To Write Love on Her Arms Day

Fine so I just like this picture of me. haha

Right Back at Ya...... Love....

Love. Love can come in many forms right. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my dog. I love the color pink. I love chocolate. I love a whole lot of things.

I'm in love with being in love.

I can fall in love a thousand times a day. I can fall in love with the color of the sky. I can fall in love with a cute little baby. I can fall in love with a beautifully written story. I can fall in love with the irony of arguing with my brother when I love him tons and tons.

Love looks good on me wat!!

That is not my point though. My point is....

The couple kinda love. The I love you, you love me so lets kiss and get married kind of love.

There's a big difference between loving some one and being IN love with some one.

I love you but I'm not in love with you. Get it? And I'm guessing you feel the same way about me too. It takes two. At this moment, there's not even a one what more a two. Mau tepuk sebelah tangan pun tak boleh - takde tangan langsung.

It won't work cause I'm not in love with you.

Attracted? Yes I am. In love? No I'm not.

I'll always be there if you need me. I love you. I'm not in love with you. Vast difference man.

It would have been temporary happiness. How long would it have lasted? 5 months? 8 months? A year? 2 years? After the honeymoon period is over and done with then what? Go back to being unhappy? Go back to being lonely? Argue non stop night and day 24/7? Strangle each other? Take knife chase around Kampar?

BAH TEMPORARY.

Nuh-uh I don't want that. I REALLY don't want that.

I want eternal happiness okay and one day I'm going to get exactly what I want - some one who treasures me, who loves me for who I am and not for what I do. Some one who accepts my strengths and weaknesses. Some one who supports me. Some one who knows that I am flawed but is not afraid to love and accept me for JUST me.

One day in the near future I'll get exactly that.

Between us, it would have ended up like this :

"Cinta datang tanpa diundang. Cinta dipupuk penuh harapan. Cinta pergi penuh kebencian"

- quote from Oh Chin Eng -

Nope nope. Don't want no temporary stuff. Don't want the temporary "love".

I still care about you. Care a lot.

Loving life is different isn't it. I love life - the good and the bad. I'm secure and I'm happy.

-xoxo- x)

Revenge? NAH

IF this were a year ago, I would totally take revenge and manipulate my way into getting what I want . Come to think of it, I did kinda sorta do exactly that a year ago.

Cause I can be sly and manipulative and sneaky.

But this is this year and I'm just gonna let everything that just happened be because *deng deng deng* who I was in the past does not dictate who I am now and who I am now does not dictate who I will be.

So I'm just gonna let everything be. I'm looking out for me. Getting closer will just hurt me more so I'm pulling away.

I still care. Never said I didn't.

No revenge. No getting back. No hurting back. I know it sounds like I'm just trying to convince and remind myself not to do anything destructive.

I won't. Promise :)

ANDDDDDD........

I feel like my insides are being torn into two, stomped on and then handed back to me.
It has come to the point where I just hate expecting things.
To be disappointed over and over again is hard.
Argh I'm hurting real bad at the moment.

You win.
I'm backing off.

Once you say it, you can't take it back.
It can't be taken back in halves.
You can never take it back.

Broken Stuff

I'm pretty sure everybody has broken some thing before right. Could be a glass or ceramic plate, could be a big thing like a bed. Anything. When you're young and stuff. Even when you get older you still break things right.

The biggest thing I've broken at home is the toilet sink I guess. Don't know how but I broke it. The toilet flush handle as well. Okay some how it just all ends up in the toilet.

Never broke the bed in Ipoh before. In Kampar got la.

So what have you broken before eh?

Random thought.

Weeee... I am going back to Kampar today. Maybe tomorrow. We'll see x)

Buy Me a Rose

Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me what could it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in the eyes
These are the little things I need the most in my life
- Kenny Rogers -

Rambles

Today, I found out that when you're brushing your teeth and start coughing, you might just start choking on toothpaste which will then make you panic and poke the toothbrush down your throat causing you to throw up all over the bathroom floor. FMLLLLL.

***

I'm bored and lonely but then living in seclusion without any physical contact from the outside kinda does that to you. I haven't seen anyone from beyond the four walls of a place called home ever since Tuesday.

I've been behind screens mostly. Either TV or computer. Take your pick.

Finished watching all the episodes of 8 simple rules on Youtube yesterday and this morning. Bored with Facebook. I deleted all the people I don't know and deleted all the people who TyPeD LiKe ThIs oN ThEiR PrOfIlE with the exception of Venodh la. VeNoDh TyPeS LiKe ThIs *ugh shudder*

I even checked my Friendster account. It's been ages since I've done that and I've been blog hopping all over the place. I came across a blog which brought back so many memories and stuff and made me feel all nostalgic.

Chatting on MSN and Facebook are the only contact outside for now.

Reading uncyclopedia. Like who the heck has so much time to write so much nonsense? ahaha. Keeps me entertained though.

***

I want to soak myself in a hot hot hot bath. I was showering [after a day of not even changing outta my clothes but it doesn't matter anyway cause no one's gonna see me] and it felt so good to be standing under hot water. The heater was like on max but it wasn't hot enough.

***

I've reached a point where I talk to the dog about everything when we're alone. Bonding time with the dog. Guess who knows all my secrets now. ahahaha.

***

It's Pizza Night tomorrow and I don't know if I'm up for it. Probably not since today was a feel bad day. Boohoo. Tapau for me la. Not that I have an appetite anyway.

Like this morning, I ate 1/8 of the plate of wan tan mee. Okay fine, I just ate the wan tan, pushed the mee 360 degrees around the plate a few times and said I'm full.

Beh tahan k can't eat. Drinking tons of water though. Hopefully it compensates.

I had this sudden craving for Nutella this afternoon but after looking at pictures of it on the net, my stomach kinda turned. Bye bye any craving for anything brown.

***

You know the Facebook application where they choose which boy/girl is the best for you from your friend's list? If you don't, there's plenty of it on Facebook so go search.

Anyway I clicked on one and they gave me my top 5. Then I wanted to see who else would pop up and I clicked that same application again.

In the end I clicked it like more than 10 times just to see who's name would come up.

OMG Time to get a life.

Erm sleep first la. Get a life starts tomorrow.

I know what I wanna do tomorrow. Upload pictures.

Pfffttt yeah right.

***

The Hallmark theme song is playing through my head over and over again.

Thank God it's Friday tomorrow. TGIF -_____- okay lame. Good night

The Calm Before the Storm. Calm? What Calm? Storm Already la.

I hate feeling so weak you know! Like tak larat like that. Not that usually I am full of endless energy of course but it's better than lying here on the bed mixed sofa in the loving room with my laptop on my lap [ OMG I totally made a discovery. Laptops are called laptops because their meant to be put ON the LAP!! Now WHY didn't I know that before? *slaps forehead* ], TV in front of me, phones next to me, book on the floor within easy reach and Samson cuddling next to me.

Hey now that it's put that way, that doesn't sound so bad.

It wouldn't be bad if I didn't feel like crap. Neck la, right hand la, throat la, legs la all aching T.T . Especially the neck. Touch it and it hurts even more. T.T

Plus I'm coughing up mouthfuls of phlegm. Where do phlegm come from anyway? It's like never ending. Gawd!!!

I hate medicine that has side effects of making me feel like puking cause if I actually throw up, I'll just have to take the meds again. Bodoh!

Okay starting to sound like my grandfather. What with all the moaning and groaning. Enough enough. Cukup, cukup. I just needed to get it outta my system.

But still.....

T.T

Friday morning faster come please. One more day. One more day. One more day. One more day till Friday!!!!

My body like dead vegetable - LAYU!!

I Love Your Kisses

I love kisses.

In fact, I am a good kisser! hahahah Bragger. That is besides the point though.

Giving kisses and receiving kisses are totally different things you know. I like being on the receiving end more please. *hint* cough. LOL

"A kiss is the touching of one's lips to another person or object, used to express love, passion, affection, respect, greeting and good luck. It is considered "an act expressive of endearment," as something "most natural."" - Source Wikipedia.

If only a kiss is really so simple. If only a kiss/multiple kisses wouldn't complicate things so much. It can make or break friendships. The tiny line between love and hate can be crossed with just a kiss.

Whatever!

Haven't been feeling well lately. Skip class LEGALLY for a week. I get loads of kisses though and boy, I am enjoying the taste of it alright.

Hmmm yummy indeed!

When Words Can't Express

Full screen it. Bigger impact

****

Hmmm I miss you.