♥ hammiebaboons ♥

Work

2012-01-22T11:17:00.000+08:00

Work is getting kinda mundane at Berlin's. I've been waitressing there to get some extra cash just fyi.

I find myself day dreaming during the day when there are no customers. There is one particular day dream which seems to have been happening quite often now.

***

It is where I mere waitress (which I am) and a guy, kinda looks like a Johnny Depp, comes into the bar and orders a drink everyday after office hours. I don't know it yet but he's rich and famous. It is my day dream, I can add whatever bonus I want!

Then one day while he is watching me, cause he does that every day obviously, he tells me that the only reason he comes to have a pint everyday is so he could see me. We start talking and fall in love etc etc.

He never tells me he's rich or famous and I don't know it cause I'm in my own little bubble but one day I find out and I'm so pissed at him [god knows why. billionaire my gawd!] so I don't wanna talk to him and ask him to leave everytime he comes over.

Since he has nothing else to live for in Malaysia, he goes off back to where ever he comes from and gets back together with his girlfriend who is also super rich and famous. Plus, she is super hot but has no brains unlike me. She also has zero personality and is a bitch buahhahahaha!

They are spotted in the tabliods and I am livid. At the same time I realize that all I ever wanted in life was him so I leave waitressing for the first time and fly all the way to where ever he came from.

Catching him and his new girlfriend/ex-girlfriend in a make out session, I profess my love for him and he dumps her right in front of me. She's mad of course and bitch mode turns on. Then we get into a bitch fight which I win, obviously. So she goes slinking away like a snake while I flash the victory sign and jump into my super sexy guy's arms.

We come back to Malaysia cause we wanna run away from all the paparazzi. Malaysia paparazzi? What paparazzi?? lol. I never go back to waitressing and he continues doing whatever he does to make all that ka-ching.

Super sexy man and I live happily ever after and books are written about us. Movies are made about us and I get Shu Qi to play me. We get richer cause we sell our story to Hollywood.

I mean like duh, a super smart waitress lands a super billionaire. Don't look down on waitresses. wth

***

So this is a pretty pointless post. Seriously, I need something to think about and work my brain before I go mad or something.

When You Know...

2012-01-13T18:25:00.000+08:00

1. Can make me laugh. Lets me snuggle. Keeps me safe. Stands up for me. Lets me boss him around.
2. The lack of justice in Malaysia.
3. Mary Beth Chapman - Choosing to See
4. - Work.
    - Lunch.
    - Work
    - Watched One Tree Hill S09E01
    - Blog
5. I'm sorry. I wish you would come back to Malaysia and talk to me. I wish we could be friends again. I miss you.
6. Overplayed on the radio.
7. - Calling other people ugly/fat.
    - Treating girls as sex objects.
    - Harping on something I cannot change.
    - Assuming I'm this person who can only do this this this and nothing else.
    - Generalizing people into one category.
8. Rice, egg with meat, vege, rambutans.
9. Very important but it isn't everything.
10. - The Weepies - World Spins Madly On
      - Kate Voegele - Sweet Silver Lining
      - The Script - Man Who Can't Be Moved
      - Naturi Naughton - Out Here On My Own
      - Kate Voegele - Wish You Were
      - Steven Curtis Chapman - More to This Life
- Asher Book - Someone to Watch Over Me
      - TLC - No Scrubs
      - One Republic - Come Home
      - Lincoln Hawk - Everytime
11. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
12. If it's celebrities: Wentworth Miller, Harry Shum Jr., Hugh Jackman, Edison Chen, Chase Crawford.
13. Could get fitter but I'm pretty okay with it.
14. The restaurant's uniform and pajamas.
15. Virgo. Don't know what it is supposed to say bout my personality cause I'm not into horoscopes bull.
16. You never left Malaysia.
17. My room is clean LOL.
18. Losing my phone all the time.
19. Semi pro camera,
20. Not succeeding, getting robbed, raped and murdered.
21. Extremely successful and happy.
22. Just done with my undergraduate :D
23. My friends in university. My boyfriend.
24. nil
25. How to be more independent.
26. Like: independent. Dislike: can be too bossy.
27. Find your own Calcutta - Mother Theresa
28. Bali, Hong Kong, USA.
29. Combing my hair, other than that I think I'm pretty normal.
30. Chinese New Year.

Officially Graduated

2012-01-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

I have officially graduated! I have never felt so sad. Okay so I've been waiting for this moment for four years and now that it has come, it's so anti-climatic. I have to figure out what I wanna do with my life, I have to find a job in the mean time etc etc etc. It is kinda taking a toll on me.

My passion is writing and politics. I don't think I am prepared for either.

So currently, while waiting for results (which is now out), I have been working 3 part time jobs. At the La Green gym as a receptionist, waitress at Berlin's Bier Houz and as a stringer for Ipoh Echo to earn some *kachingggg*. Seriously though, what do I want to do with my life??

I'm at a crossroad but don't know which path to take. I know that in time, God will show me which way to take but in the mean time, I've gotta keep moving forward. Staying in the same place all the time won't do me any good.

Okay so I was thinking of quitting my waitressing job at Berlin's. Mostly because I wanna make more time for Ipoh Echo but also because standing for eight hours straight isn't doing me much good. Then again, sitting for eight hours straight won't do me any good either. The best job has been at the gym cause I do nothing there except collect member's monthly dues occasionally and I get to work out (not that I do) anytime I want, for free. hahaha!

I'll be so super fabulous in no time. Not that I'm not yet fabulous. Just you know, extra fabulous! :D

I was also thinking of continuing on to do my MBA in June/July in Australia but then I thought, why not just put it off for a year and go see the world? Like some explorer or adventurer or something.

Then I think again and I come to the conclusion that no, I don't think I am made to go sight seeing and climbing walls and living in the jungle. Brother is leaving to Johannesburg for six months and I am a teensy bit jealous. He doesn't have to make any major decisions for six months.

My blog is dying a slow death :(

Basically I have nothing to write about cause all I do is work or stay at home and watch movies and tumblr. Boyfriend time is non existent because he's 3 hours away from me.

I really gotta sit down and set some short term goals as well as long term ones. Sigh.

Inspiration

2012-01-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

Today I went for a job interview but not interview. If you get what I mean. I'm not even sure what it was but I met up with him and he said something that rang so true, I just stun there for awhile. hahahah

He said, "Well it doesn't matter if you're wrong. It just means you're one step closer to being right."

Wahhh I almost teared after hearing that. HAHAHA. To have this kind of confidence. I need more confidence. Really. I've got loads to learn. I need to learn how to get an idea across more than anything.

2012 - The Year to Shine

2012-01-01T16:27:00.000+08:00

It has been an awesome 2011 for me. I honestly cannot remember being as depressed as I was in 2010. Now it's 2012 and I'm going at it with so much gusto, I feel aching in my body already. The good kind of ache, mind you. haha.

Highlights of 2011:

1. Saying goodbye to my friends of UTAR for the final time.
2. Internship at UNHCR Malaysia.
3. The year I met Jarrod and fell so hard for him.
4. Captain ball with CF people.
5. Judah baby was born.
6. Driving to Klang and KL with Rachael, having no idea where we were heading.
7. Shifting from Kampar --> Ipoh --> KL --> Ipoh --> Kampar --> Ipoh [that's a lot of packing!].
8. Going to Thailand with Yukino.
9. Vietname with mom and aunt.
10. MTV World Stage.
11. Bersih 2.0 walk.
12. Jayesslee concert.
13. Singapore with Jarrod, Gabriel, Alvin, Synrol, Christine.
14. Celebrating Jarrod's birthday in KL with me alone.
15. The Malaysia - Arsenal game where Malaysia lost :(
16. Road trip to Melaka with UNCHR interns.
17. Road trip to Camerons with Jarrod, Dijie and Rachael
18. Turning 21 with my loves.
19. Finished writing my thesis.
20. Gua Tempurung with coursemates.

So these are just the basics. Obviously the real highlights of my year was going for Bersih 2.0 and having Jarrod as my boyfriend.

Looking back on what I wrote a year ago, I am so glad that what I wrote still rings true. Glad to know I hate none of them at the end of 2011. hahahaha. Yes, special appreciation goes to my dear Ipoh Garden East [IGE] gang, who have stuck with me, god knows why, throughout these years.

What Wai Keong said the other made me ROFL. At a barbeque, he said, "I thought this was an all guys party?" Then he pointed to me and said, "Except you la. You not counted."

Which means imma bro now? hahahah!

Well, maybe the IGE guys will go on and act macho and all by not saying they love each other but I'm a girl who has no problem saying it... I love you guys! :)

How did I usher in the new year?

We went to Padang Ipoh cause we thought there were fireworks. Got conned cause we heard fireworks going off all around us but none at Padang Ipoh. So we went for dinner/supper at tai-sai-keok. That's 3 years in a row where I've ended the old year and started the new year with the same people. Hopefully it goes to up to 4 years, if not 5.

The new year, 2012 is filled with uncertainty for me. I don't have a job, I don't have a plan, I don't have the income. Yet I know that it will all end up okay because I have a dream.

May this year be filled with adventure, growth and more frienship and love :)

A Reason for the Season

2011-12-31T20:42:00.002+08:00

I love December! One of the reasons is the quite obvious Christmas. Another reason is because all my friends come back to Ipoh. At least, those who can.

Christmas has come and gone and I am back to bumming around. lol. Had like so many parties and celebrations with friends and family and church. Loved it!

So among the Christmas celebrations were.......

1. A Night of Christmas Carols @ PGS hall.

2. Christmas Party @ Generation-One, Kampar.

Gen-One family.

3. Christmas Party @ Infuse, Ipoh.

4. After party @ Overtime with my beloveds.

5. Christmas lunch @ Florex with family.

6. Christmas dinner party @ Loreen's crib.

7. After party @ Evelyn's place.

Childhood loves.

Was a tiny bit disappointed that I wasn't able to celebrate Christmas with Jarrod though cause he's from Klang and was over there with his family. In my entire life, this is my first Christmas with a boyfriend! ~~That means an extra gift.~~

So that was how I spent the few days before Christmas.

Amidst all the parties and get togethers, it is so easy to forget why we celebrate Christmas in the first place really. As the title suggests, there is a reason for the season. The reason being Jesus's birthday celebration. Would do me and a lot of other people a whole lot of good to remember that!

So, I should also update more... but don't judge me on that :) tata.

JR Gathering

2011-12-21T00:53:00.000+08:00

I'm done with exams and I guess I'm done with my university life. A few loose ends to tie up then say bye bye for good. Lagging in blog posts though :D

This year's Journalism Gathering was held in Grand Kampar Hotel. It ain't that grand but the name sure sounds like it. The JR Gathering is like a traditional gathering to send off the graduating journalism course students (us) that was started by the seniors before us. ~~Also an excuse to pig out.~~

My super cool lecturer. Love him much!

Oh I got a prize because I went and spoke about my internship. We do that every gathering where we share experiences with juniors kind of thing.

Whole class!

Whole course!

Trapped in a lift. So how? Camwhore!

Dengan junior ku.

Yup, we lie on the floor everywhere.

Yes, I will miss you guys!

Tata for now!

Almost graduation

2011-12-06T21:23:00.001+08:00

It has been quite awhile since I've written anything of substantial value. My brain kinda feels deadish, if you get what I mean. Most of the posts previously are all pictures pictures pictures describing what I've did for the last few months.

I guess I'll wait till after I graduate (failing finals is not in my vocabulary) and kao tim and settle everything first. Like my pending finals, results, transcripts, graduate studies application, Christmas, New Years, finding a job and everything. Meh and I thought that after finals I won't have anything to do.

So I've finished my undergraduate thesis, also known as my Final Year Project. Presentation and everything went pretty well I guess. I hope so. So that's one less hurdle for me to get my Bachelors degree. I feel so swamped this semester but still some how managed to have quite a bit of fun.

Another thing bringing us even closer to graduation was our class photoshoot. Besides the official one, our theme was "MODERN DAY SARONG".

God knows who came up with that theme!

Ever notice the black robe people make you put on for convocation looks so much like Harry Potter? -__-

Journalism class of 2011.

Road Trip: Camerons

2011-11-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

Titile says it all. Road trip to Camerons. Me, Jarrod, Rachael and Dijie.

Toby Mac, Kelly Clarkson and Michael Learns to Rock on the stereo. Don't judge me. I don't have many CDs.

Reaching the top and having no idea what to do, we ate lunch then had a straberries and waffles dessert then walked around the market. Hung out in Starbucks for a bit and down the hill we go again.

No regrets. None at all. Totally needed the small getaway from this depressing place. Oh it's only depressing cause I've got a lot a lot a lot of work to do and I'm right now procrastinating. Kbye.

Spelunking!

2011-11-19T00:50:00.001+08:00

For our Broadcast Journalism assignment, we were required to do a video recording of Kampar's tourist attractions. Now, as a student, I'm not very big on being touristsy as I've been staying in Kampar for the past almost 4 years already.

Anyway, since Gua Tempurung is actually really really near Kampar town (bout 10 minute drive), my group mates (Rachael, Myra, Sara and Chin Eng) and I decided to make a trip there for an "adventure" as none of us has been there before.

Drove there and decided to go for one of their wet tours. The third one, Top of The World.

I actually don't get why it's called Top of The World when we're going into a friggin cave underground. -.-

All nice and clean :D

The tour guide was really awesome to us considering we were being so laggy. I mean we had to take recordings of the cave and Sara was the VJ for our video and all that. We lagged lagged and lagged behind during the tour it was pretty scary being left alone in the dark at times but not scary enough! hahaha!

Cause we laughed a lot. muahhahahah!

Caving!

Steep steep steep stairs.

For me, the really challenging part was going down the stairs. Not going up but going down. Le sigh.

It is dark okay! I had a torch but I don't wanna fall down the super steep flights of stairs!

Imagine falling down 600++ steps. =/ Utter horror!!!!!

I always feel as if my feet are too big for the stairs. I'm a size 6 ~~now you know, you can buy me shoes!~~ but I always always feel as if my feet are really big for the steps and then I'll over step and fall down. I won't really fall in reality but it sure feels that way!

So we came to a spot where you had to slide down on rocks to get to the bottom in pure darkness. Super excited for it because of the adrenaline rush! :D

If you are super super chicken though, just go home. You can also take Tour 1 and Tour 2 like all the other losers. HAHAHAHAHA

Miss the landing and die. muahahhaha

Before possible death, please pose for a picture (Y)

Okay none of us died. A few bruises and aching muscles maybe. Right after that, we had to squeeze through a damn small hole called Lubang Tikus. If you are super super fat, do not even think about it.

Fortunately, all of us are okay sized :D

Why they wanna torture us like that though is beyond me. All in the name of ADVENTURE.

All for the sake of our assignment too. Poor Sara had to look pretty while doing all these stuff. hahahaha!

Chin Eng macam tikus in the Lubang Tikus.

Then then then we had to crawl through the cave in water therefore getting ourselves wet. Oh yeah, we opted for the wet tour in the beginning! Forgot bout that.

The only reason we didn't go for Tour 4 and get ourselves fully wet was because of the cameras. Two cameras were in our hands. Wasted!

First thought that entered my head when the water just swished all over us was, "MY SHOES!!!" *cry.

My sports shoes with rubber soles. Kesian okay!

Basah semua! meh.

Crawling through the mud was pretty eew. We duck walked and walked like a crab to get through the place because we couldn't really crawl with both hands. I didn't wanna get my butt wet and Chin Eng was holding the cameras.

If you stand up, you'll hit your head on the stalactites above and trust me, you do not wanna do that. You may be hard headed but the stalactites are way harder.

FML at my non existent fitness for my legs are aching now. Oh well, I have an awesome butt. hahaha!

These butts ain't mine though. HAHAHA

After much crawling and duck walking, we reached the almost end. I was to say the least, relieved. Mostly cause I was tired and the sand in my shoes were being a bother.

Caving episode almost done!

And DONE! :D

Washed ourselves in the river.

As soon as I typed that, I feel super super kampung!

Washing myself in the river. HAHAHAHAHA. Never been there before! Dirty water but oh well. hahah!

Kampung kampung!!

Got ourselves as clean as possible then headed back to Kampar. Now it's editing and editing and editing left to do. Not exactly looking forward to that.

Oh and the car stinks like mad. So I bought an air freshener. The purchase of the day!

I'm such a sucker for consumerism.

With our very very patient tour guide.

So spelunking for the first time? Nailed it like a baus! Done and done!

JR Class 2011

2011-11-15T01:32:00.001+08:00

First Year

Last Year.

Years of being an undergraduate almost over. Two pictures - one during my first year and one during my final year. Same spot, same trees, same people, same position in both pictures.

Yet there are differences.... in the lighting, in the tree shades, in the clothing and most of all, in the people.

I know I've changed. From the 18 year old who entered my first class and now the 21 year old who's gonna walk out of my last class soon.

It feels bittersweet to know my time in university with these people is going to end soon.

One thing that stayed the same through the years - love and friendship.

JR Class of 2011, just so you know, love love love from me! xxx

Jayesslee Live in Malaysia

2011-11-10T13:41:00.001+08:00

Jayesslee came to Malaysia, Sweeli asked if we wanted to go, said yes and there we were! I took a train down to KL and met up with Jarrod before heading to Setapak. Seven of us [me, Jarrod, Sweeli, Rita, Vil Sern and Yun Kat] stayed at Kumara's place for the weekend.

Oh we bought the cheaper tickets cause we'll be broke soon. I also became someone I really do not like by cutting que to get into the hall. Bah! Whatever.

Sweeli and Rita

JARROD CAUGHT A SIGNED TSHIRT WOOHOOOO =D

It's not fair to the other shorties cause my basketballer boyfriend is tall and have long hands to catch stuff flying through the sky like a boss. hahaha.

He had to go on stage to sing a song to get the tshirt and of all songs he sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star -___-"

Should've sang Soft Kitty.

Jayesslee live were good stuff. The hall was pretty small but almost full. The opening acts were good as well except for one band. Uhh I can't remember the name cause they sucked. I particularly liked Shawn Lee the beatboxer. His act was the best :)

That's about it. As if the whole night wasn't excitement enough, we headed to KLCC to watch Trespassers. Gan cheong is the word. My heart was beating so fast throughout the movie. Thought it was gonna beat right through my chest. LOL.

This was one of the better weekends in the past few weeks. Any other weekend since then, I've been spending it at home in Ipoh alone. Gotta get a social life one of these days.

The Lull

2011-11-02T15:22:00.000+08:00

Reporting from Kampar.

I'm supposed to be out for a KFC lunch right now in old town with Jarrod and then do my eyebrows and some banking. Jarrod came to my room to pick me up and promptly fell asleep on my bed. So now here I am, starving, painting my nails, blogging and watching Friends. Man I have got to get a life!

Oh Friends. What a classic.

I really hope it doesn't rain at 5.30 till 7. I wanna go swimming. It has been ages since I've touched cholrinated water and when I want to, it rains every.single.day at that hour.

That's not fun.

So by now I think quite a number of people know I've lost my BlackBerry. I don't even know where and when I lost it. Sigh. I think I got pick pocketed. The ironic thing is that I was reading a "Beware of pickpockets" sign while I got pick pocketed. FML.

At first I wasn't affected much cause you know, there are bigger things to worry about than losing a BB and after all, it's just a phone and worse things could've happened and all that. Now though, I miss my BB cause of the pictures inside which I didn't transfer and also cause it'll be much cheaper and more convenient to bbm someone instead of text.

Therefore, saving up to buy a new one. I figured if I didn't shop for half a year straight, I'll be able to get a new one by then. It has been like 3 weeks and that is tough! hahaha. Wonder how I'm gonna last that long ya know.

Also, I figured that since I have so much clothes, I would never repeat wearing the same top or bottom to university even once this semester. So far so good! Maybe cause I haven't been going to class much.

Okay why am I such a boring person? hahahah! I am need of a social life in order to make more friends.

I have run out of chocolate milk. Sob. Wallowing in self pity now. Oh gawd.

Sad case!

Oh Hai

2011-10-31T19:56:00.000+08:00

I've got loads and loads of things to say but at the same time, I've got loads and loads of things to do. T__T

Right now.. I've just got one and only one thing to declare to the world:

I HAVE FINISHED WRITING MY THESIS!!!

Now it's the editing of my writing I have to go through. It is like.. my final hurdle before graduating. It is like.. I'm gonna be a fresh grad soon! It is like.. I'm gonna have to grow up and find a job and pay bills and stuff. It is like.. I'll have to decide what I wanna do with my life.

OMG I don't wanna grow up :(

Singapore Part 2

2011-10-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

Day 3 and Day 4 in Singapore was more of a relaxing one. Compared to the previous 2 days in Singapore where I just fainted at the end of the day, this was like food food food and friends friends friends.

We got to sleep in! OMG the best feeling in the worldddddd. hahaha!

Jarrod and I left Alvin, Synrol, Christine and Gabriel on the third day. We met up with Evelyn, Aik Khuan and his girlfriend, Siow Ting instead. She's a really nice girl. Easy to mix with.

Oh and I have to say, I missed Evelyn and Aik Khuan like mad! It was pretty cool reminiscing about the past and talking about our futures at the same time. Childhood friends okay!

We met up in Orchard and had Japanese food then ice cream where we just sat and talked and camwhored mostly. Evelyn's DSLR rocks! I like big cameras cause they give good quality pictures but I only like it on some one else. hahaha

I find it too bulky for my liking to carry around in my handbag so I make do with my compact camera which at times really really sucks. I put up with it cause I don't need a DSLR I guess. Maybe next time when I'm working and have saved enough then I'll get one for investment purposes. For now, everything is on daddy hahaha!

We just sat around and camwhored a LOT. Like a lot. That's what we're good at I guess. Sounds so bimbo I know. Blah!

Made our way to Esplanade and had Japanese food for dinner again :D

Thank you to whoever created Japanese food. Japanese people? I love their food so much!

So there was a pretty good view and stuff in Esplanade and I also saw a big huge add for the ballet Giselle. Anybody wanna go with me?! It's next year. I told mom and she was like, "Uhhhhh... For what?" Cause it is awesome!

There was a light, laser show kinda thingy as well. Was pretty good and then it got boring. Maybe cause my concentration level is like way down there and I'm easily distracted.

We ended the day with Octoberfest. The sausages and siu yok. OMG orgasmic.

One picture and then.... attack! Rawr! Sooo good. We were already so full from lunch and dinner but that wasn't a problem since the sausages and stuff were so yummay!

Then we headed home after watching Liverpool lose to Manchester United only to meet up the next day again. This time, we went for Japanese food, again. Evelyn belanja us makan at Sushi Tei cause she works in the business side. It's practically her restaurant already :p

Walked around Orchard some more and I bought a dress from Topshop in for less than 20SGD. With a card, I got an extra 10%. haha yay!

Also checked out H&M for the sake of it. It ain't that great. Maybe that's cause I wasn't really looking? I was looking.... Looking at the price tags. lol.

Yeah if you actually am earning SGD and spending there, clothes are really cheap. I bought a pair of shoes for 10 bucks dei! Ringgit turned into SGD totally shrinks your ka-chingggg.

Went to New Creation Church and made our way back to the bus station to catch a bus back to Kampar.

So that's basically it for my Singapore trip. That's also basically it for my holidays. I totally enjoyed it this time :) Now it's just back to assignments, uni life and more fun.

Toodles~

Singapore! Part 1

2011-10-24T19:07:00.003+08:00

I decided to split my trip to Singapore trip into two parts mostly because there are shit loads of pictures loading them all into one will be killer for some. I also have the Jayesslee concert to update about. I'm so back dated T_T

So anyway, I went down to Singapore with Jarrod, Gabriel, Alvin, Synrol and Christine. Took a night bus.

The last time I've been to Singapore was way back in 2007. Post about that can be found here.

On that day, I had to go to Kampar to unload my stuff since I'm back here. So imagine my whole day full of travelling. Full as in full to the brim. From Ipoh > Kampar > KL > Klang > Singapore.

Side note: Malaysia's KTM system can eat shit and die for all I care.

I digress. We passed through imigration at about 4am but couldn't check into the hotel we were staying in till 3pm. Already, I was feeling like total crap because I had not taken a bath since Ipoh and was dead tired. To think that I had no access to a shower till 3pm was like an almost break down moment for me. hahaha kiddinggggg. Had to suck it up and just deal with it okay!

Where else do you go to at 4am in the morning?

Uhh McDonalds. I think I should make my life goal to visit every McDonalds in the world. Like McDonalds around the world or something like that. During my trip to Thailand, the first place I ate at was at McD as well. Sigh I have no life.

A no bathe + sweaty travelling behaviour is not recommended. Sigh I look like crap really but I don't think I mind. HAHAHA

We made our way to Fort Canning Park as soon as the MRT opened. Singapore's transport system trumps Malaysia's transport system by leaps and bounds.

Retarded face, I don't even know why I was willing to let myself be photographed. Anyway we took the MRT again this to Changi airport and I made Jarrod push me around using the trolley thingy.

I'm allowed to act like a jakun okay.

Then promptly fell asleep at the airport for awhile. Took a much needed nap.

Headed to Orchard to walk around for a bit and watch Real Steel. It was sooo good okay! It came out early in Singapore so we watched it earlier than all of you Malaysians! HAH in your face!!! LOL and by the time the movie ended, we could check in already so we headed to the hotel and I flunked my sweaty self on the bed like a bausss!!

My shower was so so soo good okay. Could get a frigging orgasm in it. Ahhhhhh~ and the nap was even better. I was never more willing to go to bed.

I don't know who woke me up from my so very deep slumber for dinner. We went to Chinatown for Vietnamese food whcih was super delicious for some reason.

Met Gabriel's girlfriend finally! She's studying in Singapore and brought us to this Vietnamese shop cause she's Vietnamese. Why Vietnamese must eat Vietnamese? Racist ke? haha not that I'm complaining. The food was yummay!

Clark Quay was after that but there was no alcohol intake :( Just loads of camwhoring :D

I'll do mouth to mouth for free ;)

Super touristy we all. Every where take bagpacks and cameras.

The next day was the highlight of the whole trip. Well one of the highlights. We went to Universal Studios! Outta your mind awesome rollercoasters!

It is divided into different sections and parts like Madagascar, Shrek, bla bla bla. I read some where before that people tend to turn right more than left so it made logical sense to go left in amusement parks cause then you don't have to que up long. I don't know exactly how true that fact is but we went left anyway and didn't have to que up that long. Sure there were a few ques but nothing unbearable. Pretty fast actually.

I sat on so many roller coasters that day, I can't even remember which is which anymore lol. So thrilling to sit them all. Yes, sat all all all. Frigging adrenaline rush like mad :D

Just so you know, it's not all roller coasters. There are shows and stuff. I liked the 4D Shrek thingy they had in the Shrek section and the water show wasn't bad too. Rocky Horror Show was good if you like monsters singing songs like "Low" and other kinds of mix-ups.


Shrek 4D

The castle is by far my favourite building display thingy. Pink color somemore! WOOOOOHOOOO :D

I shall always be the princess kind of girl who kicks ass too. hahaha! Kinda hard to fit me into a Cinderella kind of image totally cause I've got some Mulan in me as well that kind of thing.

OMG I'm trying to relate Disney with DreamWorks. Meh... If you didn't know the difference, I can't really tell too. hohoho.

The only thing we bought there was some long assed water bottle.

You won't be disappointed no matter what your preferences are. It's really really well done and us 5 had a real swell time. Gabriel didn't come along cause he has been there before so he went pak toh with his girlfriend instead.

Picture says it all. Love roller coasters. The blue one was my favourite! It went up and down and around majorly. 360 turns ftw!

It started to rain at one point which was a major buzzkill but by then we were almost done with everything anyway so it wasn't that big a deal. The rain stopped after about an hour anyway and in hindsight, the rain was good cause the weather was really hot.

There were shops outside USS as well. So after we were done exploring USS, we just lepaked around till we felt like meeting up with Gabriel and going home lol.

Was so tired at the end of the day, I just threw my sweaty self on the bed. Again. That's like 2 nights in a row man.

Awkward ending now. End of part 1. hahaha. Bye!

Birthday Partyyyy

2011-10-22T02:47:00.001+08:00

Warning: Picture overload.

My surprise party didn't come as a surprise. Mostly because the people around me (family) tends to blab everything to one another at the top of our voices. I had a swell time torturing my momma, wanting to apply for a one-off job offered by the Centre of Independent Journalism (CIJ) concerning the GE13 but having to attend a day's training in KL. All the time I kept bugging mum about it, I knew full well that training fell on the same day as the party.

HAHAHA I am so evil.

The lame excuses mom and Mindy came up with to prevent me from applying. -______-" HOHOHO.

And in the end, they found out that I knew and informed me that I had to thus plan my own surprise party.

Karma is a bitch.

One of the reasons I don't have parties, ever, is because I suck at planning parties. It ain't like the movies where everyone would just let go and dance the night away even without alcohol. Hello it's Malaysia and I guess it is Malaysian culture to be self concious and not move at all. I totally get that cause I do that too lol

So what is there to do for a non-kid birthday party? Makan lor...
[Side note: I love birthday parties for kids! Candy and games with prizes overload!! :D]

In typical me fashion, pink is the theme. Was there any doubt about that?! lol

My awesome boyfriend detests the color pink. He would rather dieeeee than wear pink. hohoho. He helped me blow like a few hundred baloons so he is forgiven for not loving the color pink.

Though why anybody would NOT like it is beyond my comprehension hahahah!

*lick* Judah ate my entire cake. He is now the cake.

Introducing my daddy. That's his pink thing. He's kinda nuts like that and as usual, the life of any party. He'll be entertaining left and right all the time. Unlike me who only wants food all the time.

My momma who has pink streaks in her hair. She damn semangat okay! Realllyyyyy semangat.

Just cause Kumara looks cute here.

Childhood friends *heart*

THIS THIS THIS was definitely a highlight of my day. ALL FOR ME!!!!!! I ate till I couldn't eat anymore. So noms I tell you! Hard to peel but very yummay!! I specifically asked for prawns on my birthday and I got it! So awesome.

It was also my uncle's birthday on that very day so he came from Taiping down to Ipoh and daddy bought a "tai kao min" for him as a cake =.="

While I, got my own blackforest cake with cupcakes. Oh yums!

As usual, I HAVE to pose okay. All are friends so they know how I get haha

Spot the hantu dude LOL. He pops up in lemme tell you, many pictures. Joel and Vil Sern that is.

Yes, my father lol.

And finally Keeran! Who painted his nails pink just for me. hohoho! :D

Love all who came.*hugs*

Today

2011-10-20T00:44:00.000+08:00

When a dude I used to date lied to me about his new girlfriend, it hurts even though we aren't dating anymore. It hurts even though it is a tiny thing and I have no business in it.

When two people close to me know what they are doing causes me a reasonable amount of pain yet they still do it. I don't know why I am still friends with them.

When I chose to go to church.

When I feel so alone. When I am so hard on myself.

When I realized that I don't have to go through all the junk again to get back to God cause he will meet me at where I am right now.

It isn't fair to dump all these on me now, my last semester. Grow up!

2011-10-18T19:46:00.000+08:00

Serious Business

2011-10-04T19:16:00.002+08:00

After a month plus plus of doing nothing except bumming, I declare that starting Wednesday night, all my concentration will be on my Final Year Project (FYP).

I shall not procrastinate with things like Tumblr and Facebook. Lets face it, Facebook is turning into a mini Tumblr anyway. Ok I will upload photos on Facebook soon :)

I shall take a break once in awhile from my FYP by watching TV series such as 90210, HIMYM, Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, Gossip Girl, Downton Abbey and so on and so on.

Exercise everyday will be a must cause if I don't, my butt will take the shape of my chair.

Eating will be optional. Clothing is also optional.

Socializing will be cut down to yelling at my brother.

Fun will be washing my car and packing my bags for Singapore and Kampar.

For more updates, follow me on Twitter here.

Wish me luck! xx

Birthday Day :)

2011-10-04T04:02:00.000+08:00

Woke up at like 1.00pm? Somewhere there la. It's my birthday. Don't judge.

So me and Jarrod headed over to Mindy's house cause she was making macaroons and we were very greedy and all prepared to go taste her baking. We volunteered willingly when she asked for testers. Unfortunately, all the batches of pink macaroons failed cause they got burned :(

I was really moody that day too. Probably PMSing or tired and all I wanted to do was sleep but they wouldn't lemme sleep cause "it is your birthday".

My birthday if I wanna sleep, I should be allowed to sleep lor!!!!!!

I did sleep till the evening and then woke up to get ready for dinner with Jarrod. I get him all to myself! No need to share! hahahahha

Halfway getting ready, daddy was like, "Can you take me a wedding on the way out? No parking la. Fetch me to Tropicana there."

Uhh what am I supposed to say to that? Of course I said yes. Jarrod and I were gonna go to San Francisco Steakhouse anyway, literally next door to Tropicana.

Then daddy proceeded to rush me through everything, using tactics like yelling for me to hurry up and opening the door while yelling for me to hurry up, then starting the car while yelling for me to hurry up.

Sigh dudes... they just don't get that blowing your hair is not a 2 second process -_____-"

In the end dad drove my car while I got ready at the back. The awkward moment when your dad is driving you and your date to a romantic dinner. hahahahha! Just so you know, we took him home too!!

That night, at our own dinner, the food was pretty good. The company was awesome. I had a great time since Jarrod was ~~paying for everything~~ entertaining me and layaning my obssesion with taking pictures.

20% off everything plus free desert too thanks to Jeremy cause he's the supervisor there! :D

I had a great time that night and moody me wasn't in existence that night. haha! Jarrod even bought a piece of cake just for me to blow out the candles with my momma. After which, he ate the whole thing himself =.=" LOL.

Thank you Jarrod for the awesome night ♥

Samson says happy birthday too!! :p

Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman

2011-09-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

His wife wrote a book, Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman and I finished reading it in a day cause there was nothing else for me to do and it was a good book. Really. Mindy gave it to me for my birthday, after lamenting on how hard it is to buy me a birthday present. True.

Everybody should read this book. The music by Steven Curtis Chapman is good as well. Go check it out on youtube yourself. This song is my favourite among all of his.

The Day Before My Birthday

2011-09-21T02:15:00.000+08:00

The day before my birthday was also Matthew's ordination in church. Hey hey I've got a bro-in-law who's now a pastor. Cannot call "Matt" d. Only "Pastor Matt". wahahahahhaha.

Also, it was Vil Sern's birthday. My brotha from another mothaaa.

So we had dinner in Ipoh Swimming Club cause all the other restaurants were full :(

Well, initiaaly, there was a cake for Vil Sern to blow out and daddy (picture above) just reused the candles on a chicken and blew out the candles for me as well cause the next day was my birthday.

Jarrod, Joel, Vil Sern and I headed to De Garden after that to eat Tutti Fruitti and I was pretty much conned into buying a cup for Vil Sern -____-" Whateverrrrrrrrrr................

Explored that place for a bit cause we had nothing to do and camwhored so by the end of it, we had tonnes of pictures. Mostly unusable cause it is blur :(

Drove around Ipoh for a place with "lights". Unfortunately, did you know that Ipoh has no place with nice lights except for clubs which has okay-looking lights. It's all dark and dready and pretty much depressing.

Really kampung, lol.

Despite our best efforts of staying up and out after midnight, we so fail. All of us falling asleep. I know I was sleepy! Really sleepy. I appreciate their enormous effort at trying to count down my birthday. haha! ♥

Once I got home, Jarrod would not let me sleep though. Tortureeeee xD So I stayed up till god knows what time before falling flat into deep slumberrrrrrr :) mmmm

Happy birthday to me.

21st Birthday with My Girly Girls

2011-09-20T02:07:00.000+08:00

Evelyn came all the way from Singapore and we met up with Michelle as well, spending the whole day together. What better way to celebrate my 21st birthday with the girls I grew up with. Love much!

Celebrated bout two days before my actual birthday.

We had awesome spicy tomyam, from Black Canyon. I love their fusili tomyam you know! It puts the "awe" in "awesome"!!! I swear, it is better that awesome! Sure, it might be full of ajinamoto but it.is.awesome. Especially if you change the noodles to glass noodles. Eat till you high.

Anyhow, we makan and talk and gossip puas puas then walked around Jusco for a bit. Michelle came up with the bright idea of taking those small small sticky pictures where you decorate it yourself but when we reached Capcom, all of those machines were locked up!

=( NOOOOOOoooo. Those machines were our life way back then!

I guess people now have photoshop and photo apps on their phones that they don't need those machines anymore :(

Poor, deprieved people. I feel for you.

So we ended up just mucking around Capcom and Jusco a bit before heading to Aunty Linda's place. Lepak there some more, play with Judah, sign birthday card for Vil Sern (who's birthday is on the next day) and camwhore. Of course camwhore.

FYI, Judah is my nephew. Mindy and Matthew's son. Aunty Linda is Matthew's momma.

Headed to Infuse and played musical chairs. I almost won because of my big butt. Still.... yay! :D

After church, we were like running outta places to go to cause well, Ipoh is that big after all. So we ended up having lok lok then at a carnival. You know, those cheap ass carnivals that looks like it is gonna fall apart anytime and you're not even sure if it is legal or not.

In skirts and heels, we took a ride on a kinda look alike ferris wheel except it is not a ferris wheel. It just goes round and round... or so we thought.

The minute it started, my skirt flew up to my face -___-" Yup, the world saw me pink hearts undies. At least it ain't my grandma panties hahaha

It just went round and round at first then it went round and round faster. Then it went almost diagonally. I was super freaked out. I wasn't freaked cause of the up and down thingy or how fast it was going. I was freaked cause the machine looked like it was gonna fall apart with all the noise it was making and flashes of me dying, final destination style, went through my mind the whole time.

Never again. Until the next time we lose our minds that is. Crazy.

We ended our night at Michelle's place with a roadside burger.

Love much. Not only the burger I love lah but the two girls I was with as well.

Really appreciate that they took the time off for me. It isn't everyday we get to hangout together cause of distance and time :(

The older we get, the harder it is to see each other. Booo. No fun. Sucky.

When we get together it is most of the time fun though. Not to say we have no ups and downs. We've been through a lot, especially during our high school days but so far, it hasn't been enough to tear one another apart. I love these two veryy much. *hearts*

Land of Motorists - Vietnam!

2011-09-16T14:53:00.001+08:00

So my blog is kinda getting boring practically narrating what I've done for the past 9876543234567 years, if you ask me. A pretty entertaining post coming up soon but this is not it. Today, I am talking about Vietnam!

I almost died there. No seriously.

Went to Vietnam with my momma and my momma's sister, which also makes her my aunt, or "Er Ee" which I call her, which means second aunt. That's not the reason I almost died.

So in KLIA while waiting for my flight to Hanoi (part of Vietnam), I kinda destroyed an escalator which is to me, not a big deal. Don't know why other people think it's huge since we ran away right after that hahahah. Oh well, ended up rolling in laughter with my mom. Drama starting before the flight :)

Anyway, flew to Hanoi and reached at night so we didn't see anything in particular but the next day we started touring. One of the first things I saw the minute I got on the bus was this....

That guy smoking something. Gawd knows what it is cause I am sooo curious lor! Mom said it's probably opium but I really wanna know what it is! According to Google, it's bamboo pipes. What is in the bamboo pipes?!!! Plain ol' tobacco? Grrr driving me crazy.

I digress. We took a bus to an entirely different state called Halong. Halong is famous for a bay called, Halong Bay. Very original I know lol. It is a world heritage site certified by UNESCO. If you don't know what UNESCO is, go jump off a bridge or Google. Whatever rocks your boat. I am mean today :(

Mom and me camwhore a lot though she doesn't like taking pictured much... I think. Forced camwhoring.

The thing about going on tours is that there seemed to be a whole lot of waiting cause you can't do anything you want on a whim. I am so used to wandering off by myself and buying the closest trinket I can find but whatever la. Tours saves me the hassle of planning.

Mom and her elder sister. There are no pictures of me because my mom is a horrible photographer and my aunt won't even touch the camera. I am so not kidding. We are on a boat already by the way. Our own, private, tour group boat =.=

I get to take pictures of them doing weird stuff, cause they cool like that and I am mostly bored while waiting for food anyway. The food was awesome!! Seafood fresh from the bay! There was some how a fish shop right in the middle of the bay which you could buy and ask the chef on board to cook it for you but NAHHHH... No thanks. I prefer my fish dead and cooked before me even looking at it.

Weird stuff... Exhibit 76543. hahahhahaha! Dang I love her to bits! Makes my life so entertaining! HAHA.

Oh and I was sick for the first few days. Meh. A seriously retarded blocked nose and coughing up phlegm in fist fulls is not fun.

A pretty decent picture of me! OMG. How did she do it?! She didn't. lol.

An uncle took this for me. Which brings me to the next point. Though I am entirely grateful that I have at least one decent picture of me, the uncles on the tour are so not my cup of tea. Most are irritating or weird. Hey I ain't the only one who said that aite. Better not comment too much either lest I become like them. The thought of it is horrifying.

Woohoo! Guess who's genes I got? :)

The trip round the bay took, I kid you not, forever. Blerghs!! It was the same thing everywhere mostly. Mountains, water and rocks. Maybe I ain't appreciative of anything to do with nature but really, once you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Mom was so glad there was a peddler selling stuff on the boat. The hop from boat to boat when the boat gets close to one another by the way.

See? My aunt. Rock behind. Rock behind my aunt. lol. Pretty cool rock though. It's called a chicken and a duck fighting. Does it look like a chicken and a duck fighting? Don't know what it's called in Vietnamese.

Camwhore. Cause no one can take pictures of me :( Sad!

So we finally docked to see a cave. A cave where there are stalagmites and stalactites. They made it up all nice and purrrtyyyyy with lights and stuff. Humid inside but verrryyyy purrrtyyyy! :)

Not the cave but when we docked. The day ended with us falling into bed after going to their pasar malam to shop. Bargaining. OMG I think I was made for bargaining and haggling with storekeepers for a better price!!

Bow to my amazing prowess as a bargainer for I bargained one of mom's pairs of shoes, which was pretty with flowers and detailed work down to 4USD. Hello... 4USD!! That's like RM12. The same kind of pair could be found in Melaka for RM80. Puiiii!!!!!

However, my mom didn't buy it cause she got offended when the storekeeper accidentally called her, "lao ren". Lao ren = old lady. HAHHAHAA. Aunt and I laughed our asses off.

Next day, went back to Hanoi, toured around then caught a flight to Ho Chi Minh. A city! Where there are actual activities going on. Where the motorists could overpower a car anytime anyday cause in Ho Chi Minh, a person on a motorcycle rules!

Camwhore again!! Someone should really get a camera and start practising!!! :)

The tour guide in Ho Chi Minh really sucks! Darn!

We saw ummm... buildings. That's a church behind them. Oh and it was scorching hot!! Yay for momma once again for providing sunblock!

Desperate times, desperate measures. Okay so I look pretty alright here. After the 5th time my mom tried taking a picture of me and that church which either ended in having half the church or half my body or something along the lines of that, she said (and these are her direct words), "I give up. Can't you just take a picture of yourself?!"

So I did :) Turned out not half as bad as the other ones sight! The whole building is in the picture too! Camwhore shots ftw!

We went to the Cu Chi Tunnels. It was incredible. The booby traps and tunnels and stuff seriously amazed me. Link can be found here. Lets just say we were dead tired by the time we finished walking.

Tired and sweaty faces :(

Oh we went to the war remnants musuem as well and they showed pictures of war victims, Operation Orange victims and all that. Some of the uncles were super insensitive for making fun of them. Wanted to marah already but just walk away lor. I mean like zzz making fun of war victims? NOT FUNNY.

At night we went for a river cruise where they provide food on a boat and that's basically everything they provide. The 3 of us wore make up and dressed leng leng cause we cool like that :)

The entire trip, after the first round, the food pretty much sucked and it was the same food every single meal. Le sigh.

Once we got headed back to the hotel, mom and me were having a discussion and came to the conclusion that we were pissed off because we didn't get to shop. The tour guide did oblige and take us to a place where "you can bargain". Right. Lowering the price one buck ain't bargaining yo!

So me and momma left the tour and went shop by ourselves. Sure we had to sign forms and papers to state that we don't hold the tour responsible if anything happens to us but whatever la sign only! :D

It is relatively easy to get around Ho Chi Minh ya know. Just go online, make use of search engines and grab a cab. Everything is super near but because the jam is horrific, it takes time. The meter on the cab charges more for wait time rather than distance.

Won't be too advisable to walk either, and this is where I almost died... several times. Crossing the roads is hazardous to your health and I almost got run down like a million times :(

So anyway.... we went to Ben Thanh market in Ho Chi Minh. The shopping there is to die for. Don't pay more than 50 percent of what they are offering though. The initial price the offer you is hiked up so badly and you've gotta be stubborn and bargain your way down.

That's the fun part in shopping for me - bargaining :) Great deals!

After ages of shopping and a few hundred USD poorer, we had lunch by ourselves. Jarrod recommended we eat Pho cause he saw it on Masterchef the night before though he didn't know what it was. Surprise surprise, we passed a shop that had a big sign saying "PHO" lol so we ate there. It's beef noodles by the way. Pretty yummay!

Met up with the tour group and they were dead jealous cause we got to shop and they didn't! MUAHAHAHAAHHAHA. No regrets!!

We watch a water puppet show which was exciting in the beginning and dwindled down to boring since it was the same thing over and over again.

That is basically what the Vietnam trip was all about. I've come to the conclusion that tours are not for me and momma. I really did enjoy spending time with her though! Love much!

Discouraged but Determined

2011-09-16T03:25:00.000+08:00

I almost forgot I even had a blog.

So I'm pretty tired about certain things. Haven't written stuff like that in awhile but I'm gonna say it now since I'm already here.

Sick and tired of people underestimating me. Maybe that's not true and I'm making it up in my head but you know what's true? When I'm being serious about what I want in my future and they think I'm joking. Then when they see that I'm serious, totally put me down and try to crush me by saying things like, "Oh you cannot la." or "Seriously?! As if you can." or "Please la that is so not you." or "You??

To the point where when asked what I want to do, I won't say a word because honestly, it is the people closest to me that are the discouraging ones.

Which leads me to question myself on how much they know me because it doesn't seem as if they know me at all.

Also, since when is it wrong to dream?

Funny. A year ago, it would have killed me to get so much criticism and discouragement. These are not from acquaintances but from those I hold dear to my heart. As much as I would like to think that I don't care what anyone says, the opinions of those closest to me matter the most to me.

Now, at present time, all the criticism and discouraging words doesn't bother me much because it just makes me more determined to go after what I want. Despite the people who throw discouragement in my face, I am more than ever, determined to do what I want and more importantly, what is right for me.

I am more grateful than ever for those who offer words of encouragement to me and actually believe in me.

A clear example - after the Bersih rally, I wrote an article but was pretty shy about sending it in until Mindy pushed me to send it to the Malaysian Insider. I did and there were no regrets. You can read the article I wrote here.

It opened doors and opportunities for me. If I didn't send it in, I pretty much figure those opportunities would have just slipped through my hands. After it was published, there were many strangers who sent me messages on Facebook and Twitter giving good comments, using good adjectives such as, 'inspiration', 'proud of you' and so on. These were total strangers mind you.

All it took was one bad comment to kill my mood. It wasn't from strangers or random aquantainces. It was from a person I considered close to me.

FYI, not my daddy k. My daddy, though he almost murdered me for writing, still shared it on Facebook. He who does not share anything but has an account ~~to stalk me~~ cause we created one for him, shared something on his precious wall.

I digress. I don't know why but among all the good comments I got, one bad comment was all it took to make me doubt myself. Maybe because that bad comment was from a person whose opinion mattered to me.

Until I came to my senses and reasoned that he was probably just jealous.

I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me. At the same time, I am so grateful for those who encourage me to go after my dreams, particularly my mother and sister.

hahaha I've gone so off point I don't even remember what I wanted to say at the start. =.="

Oh well who cares. I'm still going to go after what I want to do and the things I am passionate about. Despite the recent increase in discouragement, put downs and criticism.

Dream stealers come in all forms and I'm not going to let it stop me.

Of Shopping and Stuff - Thailand!

2011-09-07T02:35:00.000+08:00

So right after my internship, me and Yukino headed to Bangkok by flight. The flight was pretty good actually considering it's Air Asia and all that. No air pressure =D

Landing in Bangkok, we took a train to Siam, where all the shopping in the world is. Awesomeee! Oh and my suitcase had like 2 tops and one pair of shorts with my toiletries. I was so counting on buying clothes in Thailand. Which I did. Loads of it.

I was also counting on Thai food but my first meal was in.....

They have pineapple and tuna pies! Nomnomnom!

After walking around and buying stuff, headed to Kanchanaburi from Bangkok by minivan. Bought a ticket on the spot and got stuck in traffic for like 4 hours. Supposedly a 2 hour ride. Meh.

Met Yukino's friend, Miki in Kanchanaburi. Stayed at her place for 2 nights. The first morning, we went makan at a road stall. FINALLY. THAI FOOD!!!!

Noodles cooked in pig's blood. Okay admittedly it sounds disgusting but it's really really yummay!

Our tour of Thailand officially began then. First stop - War Memorial. Beautiful place. Yukino was really quite afraid to take pictures or even smile at the war memorial. Why? Cause the Japanese killed those people. So she wanted to get outta there fast lol. Still, it was a nice place.

Initially, the plan was war memorial then waterfall. Hence the bikini tops we were wearing under our tops. Turned out, we visited Miki's friend and ended up on his makeshift pier and resort. His name is Golf. Yeah I've got a friend named Golf now lol.

He kept asking us to swim in the river behind his house but NAHHHHH. I'm not a huge fan of swimming in unknown, not exactly clear water with god knows what swimming underneath. He said it's safe and that he's swam in it many times before but still.... NAHHHHH.

You can now see my big butt courtesy of photo above.

Camwhored a bit around his house which is quite big considering the other houses are pretty small.

Found out that Golf is like a big time in the state of Kanchanaburi. Something like the second in command after the governor so we had lunch with the head of village or something like that. Meh can't remember. We headed to this movie set right after that though.

It's a movie set of a Thai movie and they were still shooting it while we were there. The 5th sequel apparently. It's supposed to be really popular in Thailand but it ain't available for download and there are no subtitles for it on YouTube.

It is the Prommitr Film Studio. The amazing thing about it is that it is all made out of foam. Yup that's right. The next few pictures are stuff made outta foam. Some real big ass stuff I must say.

Looks real right? The last one is real wood la not foam but the others were all foam. Like wadaheck where do they even get so much foam from???

Went home, rested a bit and went club cause Miki wanted to go and she's familiar with it. It ain't as wild as Bangkok but there were still hired girls dancing on table tops and stages and stuff. heh. At least they are hired and some are actually pretty. Music alternated between a Thai live band and a DJ mixing English songs.

Yuki, who doesn't even wear shorts, really, she does not wear shorts at all, wore one of Miki's short dresses and looked really really good. She's so tiny, it looked real good on her. Anyway she got drunk and she's a sleepy drunk.

Since she's falling asleep and we were all tired, at least, I was, we went home early and on the way home there was this car blocking our car. Sigh. Don't know what made me do it but I singlehandedly pushed the car away.

OMG I DON'T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH!!!!

OMG I AM SUPERWOMAN!!!!!

=D

MUAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Back to Thailand. Had riverside brunch with Miki's sister, Suki, where the wind blows and dogs beg you for food. Forgive the wind blown hair.

Then we headed to some railway track which is apparently very famous. Okay I suck at giving out information like these cause I don't do research beforehand or even after. Anyway the railway track is still in use though it is a tourist spot. Pretty dangerous if you ask me but who cares there were a million people on it

Coconut ice cream in a coconut shell. Best thing everrrrrr!!!

Was really hot so me, Miki and Suki didn't wanna go till the end but Yuki did. So while Yuki went all the way till the end, we camwhored and did stupid stuff like planking.

Just to set this straight, I am not a fan of planking. I think it is dumb. I do dumb things.

Dumb things like this. Sigh

Headed back to Bangkok after that. Shopped around the guest house we were staying in that night and the next day was basically just filled with shopping around Bangkok till we had to catch our flight back to Malaysia.

I had an awesome time in Thailand with Yukino and I can't believe that three months passed us by so fast. From the first day we knew one another till that day. Hmmm. Oh well ♥

Internship at UNHCR

2011-08-28T01:56:00.000+08:00

My internship at the United Nations High Commisioner for Refugees (UNHCR) officially ended last Thursday. Immediately after that I ran off to Thailand on Friday for a four day trip with Yukino but that's another blog post all together. I seem to be lagging behind on blog posts what with having too many trips and reports to finish up at the same time. Dammit!

Anyway, I'm blogging live from Vietnam! hahaha. But this blog post ain't have nothing about Vietnam at all.

Right. So I didn't really like start of my internship. I was mostly upset a lot, what with having to settle down in KL, getting to know the roads there, staying alone without friends and all that. Plus I didn't know a single person at the office. Pretty much lonely and cranky and moody all the time then.

Eventually though, I settled down enough to make friends with other interns and had a swell time everyday. We hung out everyday for lunch though coming from different departments and some times after work as well - karaoke, pasar malam, dinner...

Luckily I didn't quit like I wanted to at the beginning and persevered through that period of time albeit crankily.

Met people from around the world, working in UNHCR. Japan, Singapore, Spain, Austrialia, France, England, United States, Canada and on and on the list goes. haha. All interesting people whom I loved getting to know. Somehow though, it always seemed as if Asians stuck with Asians and the non-Asians couldn't tell us apart.

Like for example, some one asked Yukino (who's Japanese and REALLY LOOKS like a Japanese) when she is going back to China. For some reason I think they think that we are all the same. No we aren't. Asians are not interchangable thank you very much!

Back to the internship. Living in KL gave me many more opportunities to meet up with Sue Anne, Kumara and Yun Kat. Jia Hsin kept asking me to pick him up, which I couldn't be bothered and Esther is working in Brunei so cannot lor :(

Met James Ong as well. After idk, 4 years? Some things never change. Some friendships stay the same. lol.

Also, I'm really happy that Jarrod came to KL as often as he could. The crazy effort he made makes me appreciate him even more cause I know it is dead tiring to travel almost every week. I am so lucky. The fact that he handled my lausyyy attitude so well makes me even luckier! xx

I stayed in Bangsar with Yukino in the same apartment with another guy. He wrote a book together with Kee Thuan Chye and a few other authors about the Malaysian political tsunami in the 2008 General Elections. Made me read the book for free too! LOL but I didn't finish it. No time la sorry. I'll get it another time. haha! Anyway, among all the interns I guess I was closest to Yukino cause we stayed together, worked together and all that. Oh and when I couldn't get up in the morning, she would wake me up some times. hahaha!

I won't talk about what I did there in case of you know, accidentally giving out confidential information and all that.

Overall, I really enjoyed my 3 months in KL during the internship. It is short. Like once I've finally settled down in KL and made friends, I have to up and move myself back to Kampar and Ipoh again. Sigh. Knowing me, after a few months, I won't be in touch with any of them anymore. hahaha! I gotta work at staying in touch with people. heh...

Anyway, to each of you who made my time in KL so awesome, thank you. Until we meet again. xx

Cranky Mood

2011-08-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

As I am blogging from the bus on my way back from Kampar to KL, I am in SUCH a cranky mood. To have an outlet for me to whine and moan, I wanna thank blogspot. Oh the joys of having a BlackBerry

First of all, I would like to complain about my own lack of clothing. As in smart me forgot to bring a pair of jeans to wear on the bus so I am freezing my ass off. Thank God for Jarrod's jacket but I am still freezing thank you very much.

Secondly, I would like to say that people with BO should be BANNED from entering the bus. Something like a smell test whereby if you fail by being too stinky, you aren't allowed to get on the bus. As simple as that.

NEXT, those with kids, shut the kids up or I will knock their teeth out.

The fifth thing. STOP SHOUTING DOWN THE PHONE LIKE IT IS YOUR HOUSE!!!! Gawd where has the word 'etiquette' disappeared to?? There are a million and one people on the bus. No one wants to listen to your conversation.

Next.... The people who keep on updating twitter about badminton like their life depended on it. Those not watching don't need a play by play. In case you didn't know, so many are doing that already and it's soo annoying to see it flood up my tweet feed. That is exactly why people lose interest in badminton. In my opinion. As much as I want Malaysia to win, how would it affect me if Lee Chong Wei doesn't? No it is not unpatriotic yadda yadda yadda if I say that. Your interests, my interests.

Finally, I am still freezing and that dude is still shouting down the phone. FML

ROAD TRIP - Melaka

2011-08-11T16:39:00.004+08:00

We decided to head on down to Melaka on an all girls road trip, one random Saturday. Four girls and a car. What I heard when the word Melaka came up was 'SHOPPING!' and what Yukino heard was 'world heritage site'. We are worlds apart!

Anyway Yukino is my housemate from Japan who's also doing her internship at UNHCR with me. Me, Yuki, Presena and Hau Yee headed down to Melaka mostly to teman her in the Melaka experience. Mostly I wanted to eat anyway.

Car owner drives right? Meh. I don't like driving on highways gets me so frigging tired. Mostly I just have trouble staying awake so I always have a bag of chips if the others fall asleep. Oh and we listened to Korean boy bands all the way.

I am not a fan of k-pop. Not really anyway.

So like the tourists we were, walked around Jonker and took photos. I did shopping there. It is amazing how I find stuff to buy in every shop. I am amazing! hah! Thank God for Presena who stopped me every now and then lol

Had awesome cendol and laksa and satay celup. Nomnomnom! Suddenly I miss the food in Ipoh =/

Was crazy hot and even though I was wearing a dress I felt sweat pouring down my legs. Gross much. Camwhore, take pictures and girl talk. We became the people I detest.. the type that laughs too laugh and giggles non stop.

But nobody knows me in Melaka anyway. HAHAHA!


Housemates / condo mates. Whichever rocks your boat.

So the one terrible thing I did was wear a pair of wedges that day. Feet hurt like a beeettchhhhhh walking up that building on the hill. I can't remember the name. A Famosa? Gawd I suck at history! It's embarrassing to be called a Malaysian citizen wth hahahah.

I still made it to the top and back without help from anyway and without busting a sweat.

LIKE A BOSS! =D

My fav picture after that treacherous climb!

Then we makan some more and went home and talked all the way back. How come girls can talk so much? Suffering from mouth diarrhea.

Oh and I slept till 3pm the next day. Drivers get tired okay!

Sweet Silver Lining

2011-08-09T16:07:00.001+08:00

Most days I try my best to put a brave face

But inside my bones are cold and my heart breaks

But all the while something's keeping me safe and alive

So many people are looking to me

To be strong and to fight but I'm just surviving

I may be weak but never defeated

And I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining

And I won't give up like this, I will be given strength

Now that I've found it nothing can take that away

-Kate Voegele-

MTV World Stage

2011-08-06T02:11:00.003+08:00

Didn't wanna go for MTV World Stage. Wasn't a big fan of Pop Shuvit, Beast, Neon Lights or 30 Seconds to Mars. Didn't know any songs. Felt crappy that day and the day before. Didn't have a ticket. Didn't feel like waiting all day. Felt fat that day. Wanted to do my FYP cause my supervisor was gonna beat the crap outta me if I didn't do it. Had work the next day.

BUT.....

I went anyway.

Had a great time. Not counting the waiting and sun. Honestly I felt like fainting a million times while waiting. Dehydration and sun does not make me a happy person.

ANYWAY..... I went because Jarrod's friends got me an extra ticket. So nice of them.

I was the most unprepared girl / girlfriend there in i-City in the world. I swear. I threw on a dress, no make up, hair undone and flip flops. FLIP FLOPS. Yes I rule. Like I just climbed outta bed. Sigh.

I could at least have worn shorts and a pair of flats right? In my defense, I didn't because I didn't have it at that time cause I didn't wanna go okay!

SO... I look crappy and horrible but whatever. Had a good time with Jarrod and friends - Soon Keat, Si Erng, Mervyn and Jo-Lynn.

The scores of people were so meh. Felt suffocated at all times. Imagine the hot sun and a few thousand sweaty people rubbing against you. The thought of it makes me geli. Can't believe I went through it. Pure torture. A little bit insensitive but now I know a lil bit about how refugees feel.

And because of the immense feeling of being uncomfortable all the time, my face was mostly screwed up in a grimace like that.

I kid you not. My face was majorly screwed up and Jarrod is just being his usual retard self :)

FINALLY reaching inside. OH HALLELUJAH!!! WHAT A RELIEF!!!

Oh and I wanna say this... if you wanna make money, just sell drinks and food at an event where the people aren't allowed to bring in food or drinks. You can buy a 1500ml bottle of mineral water and sell 500ml for RM3.00! which means you untung roughly about RM7.00 PER BOTTLE!!!

Let's say you sell a 100 bottles of water, which is the minimal amount you can sell seeing that there were thousands of people there after waiting hours in the hot sun, you'll earn RM700.00 already!

FRIGGING DAYLIGHT ROBBERY CAN!!

3 quarters of the cup is ice and the other quarter ribena is RM5.00. Same goes with coke, 100plus and other drinks there. HAO SIAO!!!!!!!

Bought but I was desperate before I faint from dehydration ma what to do! :(

I digress.

We were here and I touched the MTV DJ's hand! OMG I'm such a fan girl! I don't even know his name wth. I just wanted to be like those fans you see on TV who go AHHHHH~~~~ only to stretch out their hands like grabbing free cash.

Excuse me but he hi-fived me. If you can call that a hi-five *flips hair*

They gave out a magnet thingy with lights to everyone so we can stick it on where ever. I really liked that. About the acts on stage.... kinda meh if you asked me. Maybe cause I was sweaty and didn't know the songs. hahaha!

I don't listen much to MTV okayyyy.....

Trying to get a picture of the bling bling SO FAIL!!! =(

A tiny bit more successful. haha! Bling bling!!!

I had a good time being sweaty.. I guess.

Went home and fainted in exhaustion. Suffered the effects of it the next day at work lol. If I had to live the experience over again, I don't think I would.

Cause I've got SWAG

2011-08-03T22:09:00.002+08:00

The fact that I'm bored helps as well.

BECAUSE I AM HORRIBLY NICE

2011-08-01T22:42:00.001+08:00

Posting the utmost, to the max, most horriblest picture of me. I look hideous okay. It's so horrible that it's hilarious.

I LOOK LIKE AN AUNTY + MAN + NINCOMPOOP ALL MIXED INTO ONE!!!!

How does this picture even exist?!

Oh well. It is now IMMORTALISED on my blog.

I got fifth place in that biathlon FYI! My very first biathlon.

It's not all bad.

Oh who am I joking. It's horrible lol

Malaysia - Arsenal

2011-07-31T17:31:00.002+08:00

I know I've not been updating much but I DON'T CARE LOR YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE INTERNET ACCESS AT HOME. Unless you consider the YES dongle I bought internet access. It's prepaid data and it's killing me if I use to to view pictures / youtube / skype. If you know what I'm saying. I've got super a lot to say but I am so slow it doesn't even mean anything by the time I say it but I'm gonna say it anyway.... just because I can.

Me and Jarrod went for the Arsenal - Malaysia game cause ~~I wanted to see a few lengcais running around like monkeys which was such a disappointment, I should've just googled their pictures~~ he's like an Arsenal fan.

We arrived pretty early I guess and I was soo thirsty because they didn't let us bring water in but water there sold at 2 bucks per bottle and food there was cut throat. Surprisingly, the toilets in Bukit Jalil were pretty clean though. haha!

Wore the Harimau Malaya jersey from the one and only PS boutique. 20 bucks. Don't let them con you into buying it for more. Originally I wanted to wear it for the Bersih rally but I was too chicken so I wore it for the game. Put to good use.

What to write about football? Well it's FOOTBALL what do you expect me to talk about it? It was a pretty boring game if you ask me.

But there was this guy who sat right in front of us, who cut up two jerseys right in the middle and sewed them together. Pretty ingenious! Everytime the press walked pass he would stand up and wave and scream and jump about. Attention whore.

Overall I had a good time I guess, what with the atmosphere and stuff. I wanted Malaysia to win so badly but they lost :(

Awkward ending. Gotta go do my FYP if I wanna graduate on time. Bye!

My Journey. Bersih 2.0

2011-07-13T01:08:00.005+08:00

The day started with the sound of FRU trucks passing the road below our hotel room. The streets were empty and deathly quiet. Peaceful actually. Many said it was the calm before the storm.

Got our weapons ready. By weapons I mean weapons of self preservation and protection - salt, baking soda water, towels soaked in vinegar, food. A short prayer, paired up (I was paired with Myra and Logan) and left, cause we heard that the police are raiding hotels.

Breakfast. A pretty sad plate of mee goreng. We headed to Central Market at Pasar Seni via Petaling Street, still in our pairs. Camwhored infront of a police truck with Myra. It was a normal Saturday except most of the shops were closed. That didn't stop some of the vendors from hitting on us as usual. -___-"

A feeling of trepidation when we encountered FRU loading their guns with tear gas cannisters. We walked on and suddenly, the chants of "Hidup, Hidup, Hidup Rakyat!" and "Reformasi" and "Bersih" filled the air.

A sense of excitement welled within. These were peole like me. All they wanna do is make a difference.

We joined in the huge crowd. Easily more than 10,000. This crowd joined those already at Pudu, making it the crowd even bigger. At one point, the chant was, "Polis, Polis, Polis BAIK!!" It made everyone surrounding me ROFL.

Happily taking pictures, asking where one another was from. I met a few Mak Ciks from Kedah and there was this group of aunties that look like the tai-tai you see in Chinese movies with big hats and a big pair of shades with big handbags.

Zi Yen, Oga and I. Friends tho we just me the night before. DO WE LOOK LIKE HOOLIGANS TO YOU?!!

There was an Indian uncle with yellow flower in his hat. I told him I liked his flowers. He gave one to me *shy*

All of us we taking pictures, giving flowers, laughing and talking. It was a sight to behold.

Carnival like, we chatted and walked around a bit, though it was a tight squeeze.


Photo taken from a page on Facebook. Sorry I don't remember which. Can you spot me? lol

Suddenly.... the crowd pushed back a bit. Water cannons came streaming towards the crowd. But lo and behold, the crowd freaking PUSHED the FRU truck backwards and away from the crowd. Cheers of MANDI BERSIH surrounded me. lol

Gunshots. Gas filled the air. People around me started choking and gasping for air. I linked arms with Myra. There was no where to run cause we were squashed at the side.

I covered my face with the towel that we had prepared earlier but still, it hurt like hell to open my eyes, breathing through my nose was impossible. Gasping for air, every breathe I took hurt like a bitch. It's as if you were suffocating. Poison can be felt in my lungs with every breathe I took. It also made me feel like throwing up and spitting. So I guess I spat a lot on the ground that day.

Eew. Gross.

No one can really describe how it feels like. It is utterly. horrible.

Myra by then, was blind and hanging on to me for dear life. After I got her to a safe place, she threw up in a bin.

Double eew. hahahaha!

Malaysians, without looking at what race they were or what color one another was, were vomitting together. Now THAT is unity.

There was a ledge, about 6 to 7 feet high. Half blind, I almost walked off it. A Chinese dude pulled me back just in time and a Malay uncle helped me jump down safely. Thank you.

I was offered salt by another Malay uncle as well.

After catching our breath, washing off and eating sour Skittles as well as salt to counter the effects of the tear gas, we rejoined the crowd. By then, most of our initial group of 13 had separated. We were down to 7.

In typical fashion, my brother, Joel, called me during the time I was gasping for air. He asked me, "Why do you sound like that?" and "What's wrong with you?" He also asked me if I wanted a job. No time to talk! Sorry! Busy running for my life!

30 seconds after we rejoined the crowd, it started to rain. Shouts of "Allah Maha Besar" and "God is good!" filled the air. Someone started singing our national anthem, Negaraku. The huge crowd joined in. It sent shivers down my spine.

At that moment, just minutes after the first tear gas attack, the courage and bravery that fellow Malaysians showed to gather again to show love for the country gave me hope. Hope that there were people willing to take a stance for justice in the country.

We were down but not out.

Rejoining the crowd, we continued making friends, taking pictures, just happy to be there. I felt happy playing in the rain. It's been a long time since I played in the rain.

The 7 of us who stuck together. Directly after the first tear gas attack.

Alas.... more tear gas were fired despite the rain. More this time around. It forced us up a hill, into the compound of the Tung Shin Hospital, where most of us sought refuge.

Safe. Or so we thought.

Water cannons and tear gas were shot right INTO the compound of the hospital. When the police first fired into the compound, people started shouting at the polic, "OI THIS IS HOSPITAL LAH BODOH!!!"

But they fired more.

Running for our lives, we came to a dead end behind the hospital. The only way out was over the wall or gate. So climbing it was.

My sister would say, thank goodness I had loads of practise, climbing walls when I ponteng school during my high school days. Sigh!!!

This gate was quite high though. With the help of my friends and many strangers, we managed to get over the wall, escaping the tear gas and police. No one pushed. An Indian uncle, a Malay uncle and a Chinese uncle worked together to make sure that the girls got over first. All strangers but still, such gentlemen.

Thanking them, we ran through the school and out the back. I thank God that we got out of the hospital when we did. Those that stayed were like sitting ducks for the police who came in with batons to arrest them.

Doubling back, we headed for Petaling Street as a meet up point for the rest of the group. Little did we know that the crowd was there at that point. Arrests were literally done behind our backs.

Going down an alley, to avoid the police, people came running from the other side, telling us not to go down there cause tear gas was being fired there.

After circling around for ages around KL city, we managed to get back to the hotel room without much incident. On the way back, two ladies, an Indian and a Chinese, walked hand in hand and told me that they were proud that young people actually cared enough to walk.

Reaching the hotel, I slunk to the ground almost immediately when I reached the room. I think we walked more than 10km that day. Not to mention all the climbing over fences and gates and jumping from walls.

The whole rally was truly a remarkable sight to see. The people that attended the street march were kind, generous, smiling and entirely peaceful. Sure they were gung-ho. Who wasn't?

It was an utter shame to watch the police treat people so brutally. All we wanted was free and fair elections. IS THAT SO WRONG??

Why did we have to run from the police? The very same people who we were supposed to seek protection from.

Is it just me or did the whole situation seem so wrong?

For what it's worth, I now know that Malaysians are extremely capable of being extremely courageous. From all walks of life. Every creed and color. Young and old. Despite the threats, intimidation, roadblocks, fear. They showed up and showed their love for Malaysia on that special day.

Bangsa Malaysia? 1Malaysia? It was definitely achieved on that day. When all the Malaysians were there for one purpose - a fight against injustice in our land.

The Day Before Marching. Bersih 2.0

2011-07-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

From the start, already knew I had to go. Of course, my dad said NO WAY YOU ARE GOING!!!! YOU BETTER COME BACK TO IPOH IMMEDIATELY!!!!

But after much pleading and arguing through my mom and aunt, he relented but said not to tell him anything in advance anymore. lol don't know means don't worry right?

So the day before the Bersih march, I was cracking my head about how to get into the city. Was trying to figure out how to get pass the road blocks and all that during work (oops). Since I'm not from KL itself, I texted Jeremy and Myra to ask directions. They told me to take a train in the morning then get off at the closest stop.

Mindy texted me and asked if I've been arrested or not yet (thanks a lot!) and that was when I got the bright idea of asking her for Esther's number. Texted Esther and she called me back, informing me about the 2 rooms her friend has booked in the city itself and to come tonight!

From Bangsar, I took the lrt then the monorail to Mirama Hotel. Throughout the journey, I suddenly felt really nervous about what would happen the next day but the thought that continually came across my mind was that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't march the next day. I was afraid, yes but my love for Malaysia was bigger than my fear from the government and police.

For once in my life, I wasn't run down by some motorist or car while crossing the road in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. Yes, the roads were that empty.

Street view from our hotel room. Imagine. Plain empty. No one was able to come in at all.

So we headed to Petaling Street first. Food. Hungry lah. I didn't know any of them. Esther wasn't there yet. I knew Qian from a few of Mindy's pictures before. Didn't matter. We still got to know one another.

New found friends. Didn't wear any make up even tho I usually do :p

13 of us, squashed into 2 tiny rooms. Planning what to do, worse case scenarios, why we were doing it, how some of us was lying to our parents about being here because they didn't understand why we were doing it. Oh and we prepared stuff for the next day too. Salt, vinegar, baking soda water, etc. It was like preparing for war! lol

How us girls slept. 7 in a room. Like sardines. hahaha. It was really awesome getting to know them. I was the youngest amongst them but it didn't feel that way cause somehow, deep inside, though I've just met them, I knew that we would look out for one another the next day, come what may.

Slept fretfully and this quote, by Martin Niemoller, reminded me of one of the reasons why I had to do it.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Socialists
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Trade Unionists.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out --
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me --
and there was no one left to speak for me.
-Martin Niemoller-

Yes, if I just stay in the sidelines, if I do not speak out now, against any injustice, it will just get worse. Not speaking up is letting them get away with it. Letting them get away with it gives them permission to do more, be more corrupt.

That goes the same to all of you sitting at home. You cannot say that Bersih has nothing to do with you, the government has nothing to do with you. If one day the government is so corrupt, it turns on you, the rakyat, what can you do then? The time is now for you to stand up and do something.

Malaysia is yours. You make up Malaysia. It's about time you did something for it. Clean and fair elections, that's all Bersih asks for. It's not asking for BN to be toppled. It's against injustice in this country and trust me, injustice is ripe in this country.

And that, basically, is what made me go for Bersih 2.0. Part of the reason anyway. Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku.

Journey of Bersih 2.0

2011-07-10T21:34:00.001+08:00

Just a preview before I recount my whole experience. This video shows only the first time we got tear gassed. The video is by a friend I met the night before. You now have the pleasure of viewing me coughing my lungs out and not caring about how I look. I'm in a blue and black stripped shirt btw :)

Bersih 2.0. Yellow everyone!

2011-06-29T22:14:00.003+08:00

I've never been a huge fan of the color yellow. In fact, I hate yellow. Imma pink girl at heart. Yellow is the color to wear though. At least till the 9th of July 2011.

Bersih 2.0's objective is to campaign for clean and fair elections.

Doesn't sound too hard does it? Apparently it is.

Today they raided Bersih's office, without a warrant mind you, and confiscated t-shirts and leaflets and all kinds of other stuff. Then Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussien, the Home Minister of Malaysia, declared that the Bersih t-shirts are illegal. Which is kinda, sorta, totally stupid if you ask me.

Then it became known that it wasn't just t-shirts but shoes, cars, buses as well.

In the first place right, GONNA DICTATE ME ON WHAT TO WEAR AND WHAT NOT TO WEAR????

What is the world coming to?!! The government is screwing around with my fashion sense!!!

I wear head to toe in yellow though it's ugly also can wat! Digi man how? Seditious I tell you. SEDITIOUS!!!!

Know what sedition means? According to my best friend, Google, it means, conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state or monarch. In this case, the authority meaning our very beloved Barisan Nasional (the current ruling coalition of Malaysia).

It's not news that Bolehland has made headlines several times for some pretty embarassing stuff but seriously, arresting people for wearing a t-shirt? Awesome!!!

Yeah I know my picture badge is kinda blur but go to my Twitter account here for a clearer one will you :)

Let me try to be smart here for a bit. I'm trying to put last semester's Communication Law to good use okay!!!! According to Article 10 of the Federal Constitution of Malaysia, it guarantees Malaysian citizens the right to freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom of association.

Which means I can wear whatever I want and meet up with whoever I want!

What if yellow is my color huh?? Government gonna tell me what I can and cannot wear? How irritating is that? I thought according to the flag, yellow represents kedaulatan (royalty).

What a joke!

So yeah on the 9th of July, I'm so gonna support Bersih. It's a peaceful demonstration! Nothing against the law. It is a basic right as a citizen of Malaysia.

Except of course, according to the government it's against the law. They raid places without a warrant anyway right? So I guess they think they are above the law. Fyi, no one, is above the law.

They can raid the office, imprison the leaders but ya know, Bersih isn't an office. It's an idea. And that idea has taken hold. there's no stopping it. You can ban any yellow thing you want but you can't ban an idea. Impossible.

So yeah, 2pm, 9th July. I'll see you there, wearing my yellow t-shirt.

Go support on Facebook and Twitter. Give us back our right to wear the color yellow! RAWRRR!!! And of course, our right to a clean and fair election.

Love you guys! xxx.

Jarrod's Birthday

2011-06-25T04:08:00.003+08:00

I got my pinky back! So happy! Though it is old, it is loved always by me, oh pink laptop of mine. Immediately installed Skype and other stuff. I have awesome themes on my browser now. Yay me!

Jarrod's 20th pictures. Went for dinner at The Curve then shot some pool and balik tidur. Okay when put like that, it sounds really boring. Had fun though and I think he did too. He better had! hahahaha

Oh and I bought the Mini Instax 7. About a week old for RM200. Mad love it! Haven't thought of a name for it yet. Come to think of it, I've not named my phones, purse, car, camera and external either. Only my laptop is Pinky and the bear in my car is Samantha. Whatever la. Off topic.

I leave you with a sappy, corny picture of us.

xoxo. Till we meet again.

Nonsensical Nonsense

2011-06-04T22:43:00.003+08:00

My computer is being an ass. So I transferred all my files to my external and now my external is a huge mess which fyi, sucks cause I can't find my Industrial Attachment (IA) files and reports. IA is btw, pretty interesting so far and I guess I'm enjoying myself there. So since my external is in a mess, decided to clean up a bit which reminds me, it isn't just my external which is in a mess, my room is too. Don't careeee!!!!!

Pictures that I found randomly around for no reason. Gonna go send my pink and blinged computer for some fixing like tomorrow (?). Please pinky, be alright. My 4 year old baby can't die now!

Oh and I hope my pinky compy will be alright because then Jarrod will install The Sims 3 for me, which I have been DYING to play since forever!

Also gonna change the blog layout real soon cause I'm bored with it. How lazy I am to deal with html though *yawn*.

Pictchasss!!!!

Old school much? Speeches are sooo boring! Evelyn and I. We sit at the back and camwhore cause we're cool like that.

~~We only attended school for the money we were gonna receive anyway.~~

Kinda look alike don't we? Oh the picture was super blur so edited till like that d. Masih okay jugak!

I love fake glasses!!

Paramore concert last year. This year? Dunno lor.. Was thinking bout David Choi but nahhhhhh. Now thinking bout MTV World Stage maybe. I want passes please!!!!!

I like this picture cause they're all smiling like super happy like that. How time flies....

Edited by one of them. Can't remember which one. LOL. In all honesty, right now, I don't exactly miss all of them. A few of them, yes I do. Yeah I enjoyed the times we had together but people change and time and distance changes things more. How much do we have in common now anyway? Just the past. The last time we attended school together was like in 2005. 6 years ago. Meeting up, once a year, isn't exactly ideal when our lives used to connect so much. Meeting up once a year when the rest of the year, we never talk doesn't make us friends anymore either as much as that is bad, it is true.

The quote says, truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget. Forget I will never, leave distance and time has forced us, find I'm glad to have found.

Because I don't look horrible here. HAHAHA

-out-

The Big City

2011-05-22T22:32:00.001+08:00

In KL already. Internship starts tomorrow at eight. I hope it all goes well.

So being here so far? Lonesome.

Though millions of people live here, how many will look at you and give you random smile? It seems as if everyone knows where they are going, which intersection to take, which exit to take, while three quarters of the time I don't even know which road I am on or which direction I'm supposed to head towards. It's not easy to be starting my internship a week earlier than my classmates. Don't really know anybody in church yet either.

Mostly I just feel isolated from everyone I guess.

It's a good thing that Jarrod is from Klang and lives bout 30 minutes away by car. For now. How much can I rely on that? Especially when he goes back to Kampar. Once he goes back to Kampar he'll be a 2 hour drive away from me so I better suck it up.

Yes, I can survive anywhere I want but somehow I feel as if I've lost the ability to make friends easily. Maybe I'm just having a slight case of nerves for tomorrow. I don't know what it is but one word keeps coming to mind. Lonely.

Maybe it is just today. Maybe after a few days it'll wear off. Maybe it is cause I've been this way for a long time and it's just amplified today.

But like, whatever.... I'll just push through it and get over it like how I always do.

Tiffany ftw! lol.

Hopefully tomorrow and the next 3 months goes well :) Hopefully I find the place without getting lost. Hopefully I make some good friends there. Hopefully I am able to wake up hahah!

Why I Do Not Cook

2011-05-08T03:25:00.002+08:00

Who says I hate to cook? I don't or dunno how to cook doesn't mean I don't like it. Five top reasons why I don't!

Reason Number 1

It's so bloody annoying when if I ever make something (Spaghetti. That's the only thing I know how to) like a simple sandwich or sausage or something like that, they will ask me, "EH CAN EAT OR NOT?"

OF COURSE CAN EAT LAH DUH!!!!!!!!!!

Marlou of course can eat la. YOU THINK I WANT TO POISON YOU IS IT???

How shitty is it when you make something for people to eat then they ask if it is edible or not. Try and see la maybe it is not edible then I hope you choke on it for asking that question.

I cut up fruit and you ask me if can eat or not?

CANNOT. THE FRUIT USE SHIT AS FERTILISER TO GROW. MEANS YOU EATING SHIT ALSO.

Use KNIFE and cut doesn't even mean cooking my gawd.

Reason Number 2
They give me the incredulous look like, "YOU??? YOU made it???"

So surprising meh? If another person cooks it can but if I'm the one who cooks it cannot is it? What's so hard?! Masterchef maybe hard lah. Basic cooking one two three steps I'm quite sure I can handle!

Don't wanna eat don't eat. No one forcing you. Know how it feels or not when after I've put in all the effort you ask me this kind of question like as if you don't believe I made it.

FINE LO! I ACTUALLY BUY FROM HAWKER AND PRETEND I MADE IT!!

Reason Number 3

Then when I haven't even been IN the kitchen, just maybe voicing a few thoughts of my intentions to cook. Always will CONFIRM come out: DON'T BURN DOWN THE HOUSE.

Kanasai I know how to use fire extinguisher lor! Kitchen don't have fire extinguisher also got water wan ma. Don't have water then use towel or your clothes or hair or something la!

Think it is so easy to burn down the house? Try thousand times also cannot please! Fire need accelerant and all that crap to spread okay. I need to probably spill oil ALL over the kitchen floor and cupboards and stuff before it can burn down the house.

Reason Number 4

HAHHAHHAH YOU SERIOUS AH??

I'm serious about choking you with my food. I'm serious about putting poison in it. I'm serious I'm gonna serve you burned food. I'm serious I'm gonna spit in it before I serve it.

Shit you lah! Totally demotivating me from cooking or learning how to cook is so fun! People wanna learn also no semangat already.

One day I go on Masterchef then they will see with their own eyes me one TV and say again, "HAHAHAHAHA YOU SERIOUS AH??" and I'll be like, "IN YOUR FACE!!!"

Reason Number 5

Question: YOU CAN COOK MEH???

I want to learn cannot is it? Cooking takes trial and error with lots and lots of practice. Perfect dish doesn't mean magic come and *zap zap zap TADAHH* like that.

So I try a few times and it tastes not so nice so what? Can improve lor!

AT LEAST I TRY!!! Want to criticize also give constructive criticism like "too salty" or "not enough sugar" or something like that la so I can at least do something better the next time.

ANGRY ok!!! Want me to learn but demotivate me so much! Irritating max! Better I just stay out of kitchen forever and ever. Want to eat then say thank you then eat and tell me if nice or not la. Crappy things like that wanna be said also can... I stuff it up your face!

Communication Law Makes Me Sad

2011-04-29T23:35:00.001+08:00

I feel depressed because of exams. Like really emo sial.

I am depressed so I have no mood to study.

I have no mood to study so I don't study.

I don't study so I flunk tomorrow's Comm Law paper.

I flunk tomorrow's Comm Law paper so I have to repeat one more semester.

I have to repeat one more semester so I be more depressed cause all my friends pass and I'm alone.

I'm depressed cause all my friends pass and I'm alone so I have no mood to study again.

I have no mood to study again so I don't study again.

I don't study again so I fail again.

I fail again so my father no more money to pay for me to repeat again cause UTAR eat all his money,

My father no more money to pay for me to repeat again so I drop out.

I drop out so I don't have "menara gading" education.

I don't have "menara gading" education so I cannot get the job I want.

I cannot get the job I want so I'm more depressed.

I'm more depressed so I lagi cannot get the job I want.

I lagi cannot get the job I want so I got no money to eat.

I got no money to eat so I starve.

I starve so I die.

I die.

Examinations Again

2011-04-26T09:59:00.001+08:00

My finals before my final finals. I don't know why it feels as if this finals is way harder than previous ones. Even though I'm only taking 4 subjects unlike the usual 6. Maybe it is cause it's the final year and I feel extra stressed out to menaikan my CGPA.

My Facebook ain't working cause I asked Jarrod to change my password for me. I'm trying to study but nothing much is going inside. I feel stressed out about my exams and industrial attachment. Btw I got my intern at the place that I wanted.

Today I'm gonna study kao kao.... Like really really kao kao kinda thing. Nerd maximum!

So now I'm eating bread with Nutella. Always an awesome fixture. HAHA

=)

2011-04-18T19:44:00.001+08:00

I'll be smiling like a fool for no reason at random times because of this fella...

He is like so popular can! I love that he doesn't mind being silly and always makes me laugh. Like seriously all the freakin time. Except when the weather is hot and I'll be all moody all the time lol. All my moodiness makes it hard and Jarrod will do practically anything to put a smile on my face. ♥

He changed my desktop background to his picture as well. I've finally found someone as vain as me xD

So This is It

2011-04-13T19:44:00.001+08:00

Yeah so this is it actually. There is just so much going on and stuff, I barely have time to breathe. There are tons of stuff on my mind which is actually making me a bit more bimbotic compared to normal days.

Okay not really but I do kinda space out on stuff at times. Actually there's lots and lots of stuff for me to blog about but I can't find the time and there's like so much pressure ya know.... not really but you know......

Anyway I've got my intern interview tomorrow and I am pretty nervous about it. I've never been to a job interview before.

Oh btw, I wanna be really really rich! Like billionaire kind of rich so that I can do whatever I want. Like buy people stuff and go shopping.

*bimbo mode*

Gonna be shifting outta my Kampar room in a month. I'm gonna be dreading hauling everything back to Ipoh. What am I gonna do with my huge ass mirror and fan and clothes rack? All my textbooks? Pillows, bolsters... All my pairs of shoes [that day I counted got bout 15 here xD]. My clothesssssss....... Yes I am dreading packing everything up. Pack up in Kampar and unpack in Ipoh. HELP ME SOMEBODY!!!! So lazy to pack.

I was kinda hoping Jarrod would help me but I finish my finals on the fourth and he finishes like late late late so don't wanna make him my kuli yet. hahahha. I'll be paying rent for the whole of May anyway so I guess I'll take my time hauling all the stuff back. Oh kill me now please. Just thinking bout it makes me emo lol.

Take Me as I Am or Leave Me

2011-04-01T23:09:00.001+08:00

This is me.

I'm not perfect.

I make mistakes, some big ones.

I have my off days.

I rely on emotions too much.

There are days when I feel ugly.

I'm contradictory.

Sometime I am insecure.

There are times where I feel not good enough.

I get hurt at times.

I'm not the prettiest girl in the world.

But

I've got heart.

I've got spirit.

I've got a smile.

I don't know what my future holds but I know who holds it.

That alone is enough.

This is me - take it or leave it.

31 32 33 34

2011-03-19T12:09:00.002+08:00

Bye bye Grecia. Sobbb Grecia is leaving the next day. How sucky is that. Just when I was getting used to her being around for the past 2 months. Can I like have her here for 6 months and Australia can have her for the other 6 months. Equality and all that. Even if she's in Malaysia, she'll only have time for her boy anyway SOB EVEN MORE. hahahaha okay never mind, I'll miss her much anyway. Oh by the way, she always says that when she smiles she looks retarded which is a totally retarded thing to say cause when she smiles she looks so pretty k! Remember that please!

Two babes on the road. Me and Rachael drove down to KL. We are damn brave if I say so myself since neither of us knew any roads and we relied on signboards all the way to where ever we were heading. Pretty directionless in any specific place to go to anyway. We went to Klang for some jualan gudang make up which had pretty sucky choices there but still managed to get what I needed. Then we arrived in Aeon Jusco with the help of Jarrod on the phone, to have sushi. Then we headed back to Sri Hartamas where we were staying without getting lost even once. Imagine us bimbos who have no idea what roads we're on, finding our way from Klang to Sri Hartamas without getting lost. We're so awesome lol.

Comparing bruised toes. I reached home to Ipoh at night. Sooo exhausted. I was running up the stairs the other day and totally kicked it, causing it to swell up and throb. Super painful can! Then I went home and mom was like, "HEY I ALSO GOT BRUISE!!!" We proceeded to spend the next half an hour comparing then how and why of our toes -___-"

Ah yi is back! I'm back! After a few weeks in Kampar, I came home to Ipoh for a day. Saw Judah and when he slept, I slept too! Weeee~ We are kapo kawan. hahahahahah!

Home is Where the Heart is.

2011-03-12T03:18:00.001+08:00

All the stuff going on here is messing with my brain. I got much more things to think about. I got other responsibilities, other priorities and I'm letting all of them slip because of this. What happened today is like the breaking point.

Compared to him, I'm a freakin angel! And god knows, I'm not.

I love him, I'd do whatever it takes to help him. He just doesn't see that does he?

A home is supposed to be a safe place right? A place to rejuvenate, something like a haven. It hasn't been for a while now. Whatever.

Can't handle it anymore. Might be stupid but might just dig a whole and bury my head in it, pretend nothing is wrong, live in denial. Like an ostrich.

25 26 27 28 29 30

2011-02-24T00:44:00.001+08:00

Mask time. Sue Anne stayed over for two days on Thursday and Friday but I was pretty busy as well so we didn't get to spend much time together actually. Sighhh never mind. Anyway, we played around with some masks she bought from The Face Shop. Supposedly very good for skin but I don't feel any difference haha! Camwhoring is fun though, especially with someone who loves to camwhore just as much as I do.

Perfect hands. These are my hands. What's so special about it? For more than half a year, there has been a bump on my wrist. It is called a ganglion. Fluid is inside and it is caused by using my hand too much apparently. So today I woke up and I felt my hand, suddenly it is gone! Gone I tell you. Without any operation. Outta my mind happy. I know that there are people who are praying my hand for very long already. Many also asked me to just go for the operation to remove it but I didn't cause got people pray for me already. Guess God really does answer prayers in his own time. YAYYY.... smooth skin, no bump. haha!

Ipoh home. Went back to Ipoh for a day even though I wasn't supposed to. I missed my mom so bad. I haven't seen her in ages! Haven't stayed in my Ipoh room for almost 3 weeks already. That's like a record. I miss Samson so badly as well. Went with Jarrod because well, he's just the driver you know. hahahaha! Had lunch with the family and the rest of the time they were too busy for me anyway so me, Jarrod, Myra and Logan went kai kai and watched The Mechanic, which was quite funny btw before dumping Myra and Logan at the hot spring spa while we went makan with family again. Okay now I really really miss my mom!

JR Birthdays. It seems as if for almost every JR course mate of mine, some one will buy a cake. So since there are like 20 plus people, one year makan almost 20 plus cakes? haha My maths good. Today is Xiang Lin's birthday <3. I went shopping with her once and she's cool babe! I'm actually wishing time would go slower ~~so that I got more time to do my assignments~~ then there will be more time with them. Last year to hidup JR. I love you guys much.

CF Sports day captain ball. CF organized captain ball. Was good fun! Actually got to know a few new people as well as spend time with the old. Pink Rangers won while my group got trashed hahaha! Don't mind really cause I love pink color xD. Seriously enjoyed myself jumping up and down and screaming. For four hours, I didn't worry about anything and that's such a relieve. I needed that. Worrying too much nowadays.

A picture taking a picture. Yup, this is what we do in class. Was so bored today, no offense. My mind was wandering around. For some reason, class is always noisy. Never before has there been a moment of silence. So I'm exaggerating a bit but you get what I mean. Camwhore anytime in class also can cause we're cool like that! Gives us a break now and then as well. Us students feel the stress deep inside our bones! We need to look pretty and take pictures! hahahaha Not that I looked awesome today. It looked like I didn't comb hair in fact. Who cares la. Skjap saje =p

15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

2011-02-19T00:25:00.002+08:00

Communication Law. Communication Law lecture was so on today! I only like to study this because there are two books that's pink. The lecturer actually makes it kinda interesting ~~cause most of the time we're laughing at her~~. When she gives a lecture, there's a lot of sound effect like "ting ting tong tong" or "bubu" or “dingdingding". She can be beat boxer. It's always so noisy during lecture. Now if like people defame me or berscandal all, can sue lah. Sue for libel or slander or whatever. haha awesome. I bet it won't be as awesome when I have to really study it. -___-

Coookieeeee. Talk about wanting to get back my fitness when I'm stuffing my face with these cookies non stop. Love love! My mom was like, "I gave away all the cookies at home already. Don't wanna get fat." For me, NO WAYYY!!! hahaha! There's too much at stake with the cookies. It comes only once a year okay. Gotta maximize it while it's here. Noms noms noms.

Fire Drill. I was at work when the fire alarm rang. It's so obvious that they wanted a fire drill cause there was the fire drill sign right smack in the middle of no where and there were more than obvious signs for telling students where to go to. So when the alarm rang, we just continued working till the fella chased us out. hahaha! If it were a real fire, all die d lu. Make us stand under the hot sun for so long some more so obviously it turned into a kinda, camwhoring session. SOOOOO scared. Yeah I know it's just safety precautions and all that but tell me, how likely is it that the Faculty of Arts and Social Science students set UTAR on fire? Go have the fire drill at the science faculties and labs lah. More like to blow up something.

Tong Sui Kai. Met up with a few of my old swimming gang again, Aik Khuan, Michelle, Sophia, Keith and Xing Yao and we went for hot spring spa! So syiok. I wouldn't mind going there everyday. Then we headed to tong sui kai. It's like a huge, long street in Ipoh where guaranteed can get yummy food. Dirty though. Very dirty. Got like rats running around some times but that's their specialty. Gives you the ambiance of the place. ahaaha! Disgusting. We talked so much that night and I found out many things and yeah, I miss them extremely much it's not even funny. Those were the days where we spent so much time together, we got sick of one another. lol.

I feel old. Mei Yen tagged a few photos of me and a few friends I kinda grew up with today. The ones above. Took the pictures during Chinese New Year. It's also the day where my sister gave birth to Judah Elliot Dass. Makes me feel old! I'm turning 21 this year and I already have a nephew and the friends who used to stay in the same kampung, is scattered all over Malaysia. Gahhhhh~! Oldie. Layak dipanggil aunty. hahahah. Judah will call me 'ah yi' though. Muahahaha. Next year must give him ang pau apparently. Something to do with different generation and all that -___-"

Ceiling stare. Such a lazy day today. All I did was chat till early morning, got up around 2.00pm, rolled around in bed, watch series, sleep some more, text awhile, sleep some more, wake up to eat. I think I spent like 90% of the day not moving in bed. I have turned into a sloth officially today. Blahhh!!!

Valentines day love triangle. Rachael loves me but I love Myra. hahaha. Ok lame whatever. We still love one another kay! It's valentines day man. I felt like pushing all the lovey dovey couples into the lake or throw them into the rubbish bin or something then I reminded myself that it is just another day. Any other day, they'll be fighting left and right. haha. I mean this day never really meant much to me before. Just yet another day to spend money on me you know. hahahahah! Did get quite a number of wishes through calls and texts but the sweetest was from some one who gave me a music album :) happy!

Back home. I haven't seen Judah yet. He's a baby. I can't stand babies usually but this is different because he's my baby! Not technically mine, more like Mindy and Matthew's baby but whatever, just a technicality.
hahaaha. So I went back to Ipoh for a short day with Jarrod. Jarrod met my mom and almost met my dad. According to my dad's friends, my dad's the "dating processor". All dates must go through one and only daddy. hahaha I don't care. Let my dad torture whoever guy however much he wants. Father's the best! My family has privilege of saying whatever they want. Anybody else who has an opinion of who I should or should not go out with can keep it to themselves. Jarrod is such a sweetie though. lol ya ya, he'll kill me for actually publishing this :) Don't care!

Cupboard dilemma. My cupboard in Kampar is stuffed. I don't have enough hangers. Hanging two baju on one hanger. Sigh someone buy me more hangers or a bigger wardrobe or better yet, just stop me from shopping but that's kinda impossible soooo..... get me more space please please please! =/

Ang Ang Mari Mari Boom. Journalism course mates had a potluck gathering today. The theme was red. Chap goh mei ya see. Kinda like the last day of Chinese New Year if I'm not wrong. People like Sara is attention seeking though and wore a direct contrast of blue there. hahahahah! Got so much food!! Some bought, some cooked. Oh and first time I see people lou sang until all over the table. It started off soooo pretty. Ended up all on the table prettily as well lol. These are the times where our last year spent together will mean a lot to one another I guess. Really can't believe it's our final year together. Barisan JR FTW!!! xD

Valentines Day

2011-02-14T13:54:00.001+08:00

Actually right, I woke up today in a very good mood. That hardly happens. Usually right, I'll be like a grizzly bear when I wake up. Roll outta bed and stumble into the bathroom, spend ages in there and still come out looking like a bear. hahahaha

You know that chinese monster called Nian or something like that? The one that sleeps for long periods of time and only wakes up to look for food? My sister calls me that moster. Actually right, she calls me harimau and Jackie Chan (?) and adopted kid and a whole lot of other names as well but she's awesome like that.

That is beside the point. My point is.... today I woke up in a very very good mood =D

Then someone had to go and spoil it. I don't know why it's even affecting me so much ya know. It's just weird... and it makes me pek chek!

Some dude texted me went something like, "Happy Valentines. This is my last message to you. I won't kacau you anymore since you won't choi me anymore. Bye."

First up.... what the heck? Like so not ok can!
1. Sincerity = zero. Wanna wish me, wish me properly lah. Fake dou....
2. I don't have to choi him.
3. I haven't seen him for more than a year! Even when we did see each other, it was just a hi bye kinda thing.
4. Hate people who try to pour out the guilt.

Sure la sure. Try to make me feel guilty for being busy therefore have no time for him? That's what I really hate bout guys. Not all guys, mind you. Just most of them. Like I'm busy with assignments and other stuff then they expect girls to pay attention to them.

Talk about being clingy! My life don't revolve around you lo. Who are they to me? No one close forget it lah. I don't have so much energy to layan. Sibeh irritating.

If he or she is a friend I actually hang out with real life, then okay I don't mind spending time. I mean I myself need to spend time with people. But if it's like that dude, who's overseas FYI, this is my life here in Kampar and Ipoh. My life is not on the phone talking to him, 9876542234567 miles across the whatever north atlantic ocean or whatever ocean.

Time difference also so big, he call at 3.00 a.m, 4.00 a.m., I no need to sleep ah?! Sure sometimes I will be awake but usually normal people will be sleeping right. Sigh...

Okay I feel much better after letting it out. hahahahahaa. The rest of the day is gonna be awesome possum.

Oh I was complaining to my dad how I don't have a valentine and whatever and he went, "I be your valentine!" He said it in this macho voice. So farny! Like so man like that. HAHA

And I'll be like FINALLY seeing Judah tomorrow :) Got lots of things to look forward to. =D

IMMA AUNT IMMA AUNT IMMA AUNT.

2011-02-12T20:07:00.001+08:00

*jumps up and down excitedly*

JUDAH ELLIOT DASS, WELCOME TO THE WORLD. I'M SO GONNA SPOIL YOU KAO KAO!!!
EEEEEEE.... HUAT AHHHHHHH =D

Reminiscing Times

2011-02-12T01:31:00.001+08:00

I just got back from tong sui kai with a few of my old swimming friends. Michelle, Sophia, Keith, Aik Khuan and Xing Yao. I got home and realized just how much I've missed them - terribly!

I'm turning 21 this year and I've known them at least half my live, if not more for some. After spending an average of 4 hours a day, everyday, for a minimum of 5 years together, it's kinda sad that we hardly see each other anymore. We're like scattered all around the world.

The likelihood of ALL of us getting together for a meet up is zero. Maybe in the event of death for one of us? Okay being kinda morbid but it's true. hahah

Even when we haven't seen each other for so long though, we just manage to click the minute we see each other and talk non stop. An outsider would be so lost among all our inside jokes. Guess the friends you spend the most time with during high school would always be your friends no matter which part of the world or how long the distance is.

I've missed them all, Perak swim team and the coach. Our legacy will never be forgotten. haha what legacy la dei! More like notorious actions left and right. hahah So drama!

14.

2011-02-08T01:15:00.001+08:00

Michelle my belle. Yeah she's my girl! Met up with her and a whole bunch of ex-Perak swimmers for lunch today. Missed them all like crazy but I missed Michelle the most. She was one of my closest friends from primary 5 till form 5. That's 8 years! After high school we drifted apart a bit. We don't meet much nowadays but when we do, it's talk non stop till the cows come home. Oh and we're both attention seeking people so there are some screw loose moments, don't mind us. Can switch topic like totally random. haha. Yeah we used to be called twins cause we like had the same hair style, and idky people said we look alike. My mom used to scold me for not answering when she called me when in actual fact she was calling Michelle. Sigh -___-" Now we don't look alike anymore. She has turned into a major hottie without even trying and sadly has left me behind. ahahaha NOOOOOOOooooooo...................

13.

2011-02-07T04:33:00.001+08:00

Grecia day. I felt slightly better and spent mostly spent my day with Grecia. Walked around, hung out at my place, had lunch and watched Green Hornet. Wadda lame movie I thought it would be like action packed and stuff. haha noob movie but it made me laugh. I so wanna watch Black Swan and Burlesque. Woot~!

12.

2011-02-06T02:36:00.001+08:00

Like a zombie. So I slept the whole day and woke up at 9.00 P.M. NINE AT NIGHT! Shocked? Well so was I when I saw the clock. Apparently I woke my around 2 in the afternoon to eat and drink water but I can't remember any of it. Mom told me I was feverish which probably means I was kinda delirious I guess? Seriously idky I feel sick to the bone. Coughing my lungs out and having a fever and my nose is so runny, it'll just up and run off from my face soon. Please please don't get any sicker ='( Samson though, has taken care of me throughout the day, being manja and all that. haha! Love the guy <3

11.

2011-02-05T04:19:00.002+08:00

Mom's birthday. Celebrated my mummy's birthday today. The whole family went to David's Diner for lunch after practically ronda-ing the whole Ipoh looking for food. All our food came with a side dish - fried orange. Talk about horrible! I ate all of it up ideky. Greedy. haha. Mom said she doesn't like to take pictures and I was like AM I YOUR DAUGHTER??? hahaah! Mindy, Kristie, my aunt (we call her 'kuku') and I cooked dinner for mom at night =D haha yayyyy happy! Yeah I forced dad to eat my cooking and he said pass, boleh makan! So..... YAY! lol Mom said Masterchef! Joel said, "Better you stick to your Journalism." Then he had second helpings. Oh yeahhhh success! =D =D My second time cooking in the 20 years of my life! As long as my ibu happy, I happy.

10.

2011-02-04T04:20:00.001+08:00

First day. So I woke up with the screwed up expression on my face. I slept on the hall sofa see. It's not that bad. What was bad was my grandfather kept waking me up at 9, saying it was 12 and asked to go get ready for lunch. I was like WHATTTTT??!!! So like okay fine never mind, I'll just go to the room my dad and brother were sleeping in and continue sleeping there. Fat hopes. I closed my eyes for like 15 minutes and he came knocking on the door again. Seriously?!

Then out of nowhere, some neighbor started singing Air Supply's Goodbye on loop! He started on Elton John's Circle of Life when he got tired of that. I'm starting to think that when my grandfather said the neighbours were playing drums and disturbing him, he wasn't totally offtrack there. Either that or I'm going crazy as well. hah!

The rest of the day went pretty okay I guess. Lunch at the normal hotel we always go to and dinner at my Pak Mei's house. I camwhored. A lot. ahaha!

9.

2011-02-04T03:55:00.002+08:00

Reunion Dinner. Every year it's a Chinese culture to have a whole family gathering the day before Chinese New Year. YES, I AM CHINESE!! grrrr.... So every year my family goes down to Taiping to celebrate except this year mom, Mindy and Matthew didn't go. We had steamboat at CRC Taiping this year and as usual, when the Oon clan get together, they kinda go a bit nutty. haha! The ~~oldies~~ parents talk in Hakka or Hokkien when they don't want us kids to know what they're talking about, like when they talk bout us, infront of us. haha. I've picked up quite a bit of Hokkien in Kampar and could understand most of what they were saying though. SCORE! xD

Oh and my grandfather totally forgot who I was even though I sat next to him throughout dinner. I told my dad and The conversation went something like that (in Hokkien).

Dad: Do you recognize her? *points at me*
Granddad: OF COURSE!!!!!!!
Dad: What's her name?
Granddad: Uhhhhhhh...... Min Yuan.
Dad: HAHAHHAA.... She's MIN-I!!
Granddad: OH YA MIN-I!!!!!!!!

LOL? My name is Min-I. My sister's name is Min Yee. My brother's name is Min Jhen. My cousin's names are Min Chuan, Min Shen and Min Wei. hahahaha There isn't even a Min Yuan anywhere. Awww I'm so forgettable? Boooo =(

After dinner it's like tradition to head to the Aulong house to exchange angpaus and gamble for a bit. Did that with the extended family then this year, the cousins made a new tradition. Shall not be named what for though it is legally legal, it ain't so legal in our parents' eyes. hahahaha!

Oh and this year I managed to bump into Ying Ying, Mei Yen, Chor Jaur, Sun Chin and Wei Ming at Station One when I went out to lepak with Rachael and Joshua. I've missed those crazy bunch.

Reunions are supposed to be a joyful thing right? Glad mine was.

8.

2011-02-02T02:31:00.001+08:00

It has started. Chinese New Year has obviously started earlier than expected. Since I got an angpau today already *grins* bring on the rest! I need my bank account to grow fatter ahahha! My cousin touched down in Ipoh today with his four kids. So cute ok! ahaha. The youngest one who's a boy is only two and a half can spell already. Super hyper though. Wanted to sit on Samson as if he were the horse. hahahahaha. I'll be in Taiping tomorrow. Taiping people please wait for me :)

7.

2011-02-01T03:36:00.001+08:00

Gang iPhone. I went to Nasmir today with the above five and it suddenly dawned on me that all five of them are using iPhones. Chehwah. Kishen's idea to put their own picture on the iPhone before me taking the picture with my blackberry was really cun. lol. Some would say "an apple a day keeps the berries away." Still I stand firm on my believe that BlackBerry FTW!! hahaha

6.

2011-01-31T02:53:00.001+08:00

Fruit juice day. Ipoh Garden East peeps came back to Ipoh Garden East! After a pretty long day shopping (lol what else to do on a Sunday?), Yun Kat asked if I wanted to go to Nasmir for a bit together with Kishen and Jia Hsin so I said yes but once I got up the car, he drove to the stadium to meet Shuhur. I don't know why but Shuhur has a habit of taking us to random, sesat places where I've never even heard of before. There was once he almost made us walk through a really dark place to get to a restaurant. Scary! Today he took us to yet another sesat place and we had huge cups of fruit juice for RM2 only. Taste good and cheap! Bliss! Then they came over to my crib and we started eating all kinds of Chinese New Year junk and we've been playing cards since then. Yup, they're still here.

5.

2011-01-29T23:59:00.001+08:00

Infuse Girls Day Out. So Amber, Esther and me decided last week to take Grecia shopping. Actually, any excuse to go walk around. Poor Grecia was just the victim of the day haha! Oh well, we tried on clothes too. Called Carmen along but Esther was still in Kampar. So Amber, Carmen, Grecia and I went to Jusco for a bit and Grecia bought make up and clothes =D. She better use it or I'll threaten to beat the crap out of her LOL. Btw I sent my car for washing ~~cause there was no parking~~ and now my car looks so clean and shiny, no one could recognize it. It's like a brand new car! So after shopping we went to McD for a bit then went for Infuse Salt and Light Slam Jam and after that Esther, Amber, Loreen and I headed to Michaelangelo's Pizzeria and had to-die-for pasta and pizza. We laughed our asses off almost non-stop. Yeah I had a fantastic day with the girls. Happy!

4.

2011-01-28T23:23:00.002+08:00

Crabby dinner. I'm back in Ipoh after a long day in Kampar working. It's actually quite enjoyable. Got my FYP supervisor as well and she dumped 2 thick textbooks on me asking me to read up on certain stuff lol. Have been totally craving for crab since last week so I totally pestered dad to take me for crab dinner. Dad, mom, Sue Anne and I went for dinner which tasted sooo good! Sue Anne's staying over tonight which always makes me happy. Bagus bagus!

3.

2011-01-27T23:38:00.001+08:00

Pan mee dinner with Gen 1. Today, I was so busy but my day ended on a high with dinner with Hong Weng, Vil Sern, Sharon, Carmen, Joel, Keeran, Han Wei, Dijie, Jarrod, Alvin and Gabriel. In the morning I woke up only to be 5 minutes late for Media Ethics class, helped Joel with some uni administration stuff, went to work for awhile, went back to Ipoh to go to Lost World to find out stuff, came home and died on the bed then went for dinner. Typical full, busy day.

2.

2011-01-26T15:25:00.002+08:00

Melted sugar. It;s like so sweet beh tahan man. Pei Suang brought in back from Taiwan for the whole class today. I love candy! Funny I've not gotten a toothache from the sweets I've been eating non stop lately. Should stop. Hard la. hahaha. Oh and I think I'll be vegetarian for a day, one day. Sara kinda influenced me haha

1.

2011-01-25T23:54:00.004+08:00

Red mob day. In conjunction with Chinese New Year, somebody started this thing and invited all of us to wear red to lecture hall. Some came in pink, not that I mind that they're a bit color blind. lol. Had fun and almost the whole lecture hall was in red. That's my class up there btw =)

Not Exactly Happy

2011-01-24T13:47:00.000+08:00

At the moment I don't really know what I'm doing or feeling like wth, so not in touch with my emotions haha

I just don't think that I'm cut out for this. I don't know if I can do it and if I can't, I'll disappoint everyone, including myself. Being overwhelmed and feeling so inadequate. Second guessing myself and everything around me, being shaken up about everything. Am so discouraged with it all.

There are so many people more capable than me that I feel discouraged I think. I think I can do it but at the same time I think I cannot. Hate second guessing myself but in this, I just can't seem to help it.

I guess I need to talk with someone who will maybe understand. Except that I'm not exactly the greatest person in the world when it comes to putting feelings into words (except anger, that I know how -__-). I'm the greatest person when it comes to pushing away people who try to get to me though. What's my problem? geezzz. Imma total nut job when it comes to this.

The more I love them, the more likely I am to get hurt by them because the expectations are higher so subconsciously I push all of them away and don't let anyone come close, therefore hurting myself more? What a vicious cycle.

Actually I'm really thankful that they don't give up on me even though I've done loads of stuff to push them away. They keep coming back or I keep coming back to them and they still welcome me.

Ohkay I think I'm rambling. I do though, feel atm, totally inadequate, discouraged and pretty much at a lost of what to do right now with all this and that's crap.

Faith Hill ft Tim McGraw - Like we never loved at all

2011-01-20T15:44:00.004+08:00

He came back to Malaysia, he left the country again, he won't be back for at least a year. *phew

Relieved.

I don't have to deal with him being around.

We're back to where we started - strangers.

That suits me fine.

I'm Not Afriad of Falling, I'm Afraid of Failing

2011-01-17T04:17:00.000+08:00

Yup, I'm back in Kampar land. New semester starts in a few hours, I should be sleeping but I think sleeping is a waste of time at this moment.

My computer is going nuts on me. Have been cleaning like for the past 2 hours. Tiring man!

I've decided just now in the shower that this year, I ain't gonna let fear of failing or falling flat on my face stop me from doing anything. Like I've always been so afraid of letting people down or letting myself down that I didn't do many things that I wanted to do.

Fear of disappointment stopped me from many things. I dunno... disappointing people and disappointing myself I guess. Holding myself back won't work anymore. Gonna grab things by the reins and go all out, wholeheartedly this semester. Step by step ok, start with this sem first =)

Study wholeheartedly, work wholeheartedly, play wholeheartedly. No more half way half way all.

Cause even if I didn't do anything, I still manage to disappoint people anyway so wth just do what I want to do lah.

Final Year!

2011-01-16T15:51:00.000+08:00

I'm on the bus back to Ipoh now from KL. in a few hours, we'll be celebrating daddy's birthday and then it'll be back in Kampar for me.

The fact that this is my final year has not sunk down yet. FINAL YEAR!! One more year of being an undergraduate. Imagine me being a freshgrad after this year. The world will be at stake lol.

Thanks to my (now) awesome lecturer, Tiffany Oon passed her French exams and can now graduate on time. Darn I was so worried I would fail it and be held back an extra semester for a subject that isn't even included in my GPA. haha! Worry not! I passed! :D

Final year baby! Am so gonna enjoy it to the max!

Freshgrad! Mom and dad must be thinking bout how their babies are growing up so fast. LMAO.

Time and tide waits for no man.

Random

2011-01-14T04:08:00.002+08:00

Holidays are almost over. Gonna head down to KL in a bit, meet up with people and then go back to Kampar. This year will be awesome. Myra and me made a deal to not be emo at all this semester lol. Harap harap la berjaya.

Being a bum in Ipoh is always successful cause all I do is eat, watch movies, bum around then sleep. Which reminds me, it's my final year studying. I have GOT to maximize usage of my student card which translates into MOVIES.

Little Red Riding Hood, Pirates of the Caribbean, Fast 5 etc etc etc faster come out! =D

I watched Faster today. Nothing great about it. Shoot shoot shoot, kill kill kill, ride of into sunset to live happily ever after. Can't wait for Fast 5.

One of my dreams came true yo! I was a mermaid.

LOL talk about living the dream. HAHAHA. Ariel has always been my favorite since young. Maybe we bond or something.

Don't think I'll go blond. Going blond will probably enhance my bimbo image.

But you know, to be bimbo, you have to be
1. pretty
2. have boobs
3. stupid

At least not plain stupid! HAHAHA.

Have been hanging with them most of the holidays. Plus a few others. Oh I learned many things while with them. Among it being, don't ever wear black bra with white shirt, don't wear harem pants, don't wear netting over something else. Got so many more. At this rate, wearing caftans out would probably be the only thing that's fine!

Went Gerbang Malam and bought a pair of thongs with GOOGLE on it. My first pair of footwear for the year. I find it quite cute.

Am so proud of myself btw. Managed to prevent self from buying any kinds of footwear for the past almost 3 months.

Now I can say that I am above Google or that Google is beneath my feet or that I'm stepping on Google. hahaha

Thongs like these are probably available in Asia only. People here are creative. Rip offs but still creative.

Bring It on 2011!

2011-01-05T04:43:00.011+08:00

It's strange writing. I haven't written anything for quite some time now. Ended up saving this post as a draft for like a gazillion times cause every time I started typing, I'll get stuck halfway or something else that needed my attention (sleep, eat, play FreeCell) would take priority. So the post is kinda late and mixed up and messy cause it was typed like at totally different times, multiple times.

2010? It was the worst year of my life but at the same time, it was the best year of my life as well. That's saying a lot considering that I've had some pretty bad years and some pretty awesome years.

Even though I whine and moan and rant a lot on my blog, I actually have a pretty darn good, happy life! Yea I know that I am moody at times... working on that.

I had a list of resolutions that I wrote at the beginning of 2010 and I doubt I've achieved even half of it. I threw the list out in a fit of anger on one of those emotional nights I had this year so who knows what happened to it. 2011 resolutions? I don't have any but I know what I want and need to do. Knowing and executing is 2 different things FYI.

Run down of 2010 (random order):

Mindy and Matt got married. Langkawi with Jee Ying, Vil Sern, Yun Kat, Hong Weng and Jee An.Received an official warning letter from UTAR. Chinese New Year at CCM's house. I miss having him as a friend. My fault. That trip to Setapak where some of those Canning people attacked me. Their fault. Taiping and Pangkor with Chin Eng and Rachael. Gopeng retreat in the middle of nowhere (read: jungle) but there was wifi! The whole fiasco with OKH. Heartbreak. Melaka with mom and dad. Playing in the rain multiple times. Asian Cultural Society Night. Mindy constantly admitted into the hospital. SRC campaign and elections. Finally realizing AW is a total douche. ARISE conference in Kampar. Being fired as J-On web administrator because of conflict of interest. Won Yellue treasure hunt together with Hong Weng, Vil Sern, Rachael and Chin Eng. Star Hill for that media conference. Never ever trust LKS. Worse than a douche. Generation One BBQ. Elected Vice Chair of UTAR's SRC. Soft skill course with Mohann. Won a fancy dress competition as a mermaid. Sue Anne's car breaking down in the middle of the highway and we camwhored while waiting for tow truck. Penang with Yun Kat, Vil Sern, Hong Weng, Diyao, Pui Nyinn, Victor, Wai Keong.Paramore concert with Poh Nee, Vil Sern, Yun Kat, Marx. Invitation to go for 95% The Advertising Academy, Sparkalicious program. Sleepover at Evelyn's crib with Michelle. Girls in curls! Dad dumping me alone in KL with the car. Playing in Westlake with practically all my course mates. Bet with Jia Hsin that I could stay off Facebook. Hari Raya open house - non stop makan! Kissed a waiter who was a stranger as a dare. Recorded ARISE music album.Eating worms and doing loads of disgusting stuff during the fear factor challenge at the Overcomers Conference. AUKU and Perlembagaan talk with Chin Eng and Amirah. KL many many times to find Esther, Kumara, Jia Hsin, Yun Kat and Sue Anne. Hillsongs in Ipoh. ARISE tour - Taiping and Sitiawan. First time being back to high school since I left during MGS Pesta Ria. Organizing JR Gathering together with classmates. J-On English desk news editor. Bash Party. Camerons with Vil Sern, Hong Weng, Amirah and Logan. Hot spring spa with Grecia, Jia Hsin, Alex and Yun Kat. Cooked for the first time in my 20 year old life!

All these are from the top of my head. I'm pretty sure there are other stuff that went down but can't be arsed at the moment to purposely remember.

Though I suffered from heartbreak this year, no thanks to those who caused it, I know that I wasn't the only one who went through it. I do know a few things though...
1. I never loved him, I just thought that I did.
2. I am stronger than before.
3. I can be by myself without a partner no problem.

I also know that some people will take advantage of you when you're feeling down. So whatever, I will try not to let them do that to me that's all. Some people are after all, plain pain in the necks and should be better off dead.

There are people going through worse things than what I am facing. I should be thankful.

Countdown? I was with Sue Anne, Hong Weng, Yun Kat, Jia Hsin, Jic Kie, Tze Hoe, Alex and a few others. There was a time when I suddenly remembered that in 2009, I was with almost the same people minus Anne and Jia but add on Kishen, Jee Ying, Yau Kin, Wai Keong, DiYao and Pui Nyinn at RJ. I also remembered what Yau Kin said to me a year ago and after remembering, I was so mad at myself for about an hour or so before enjoying myself for the night. Walk here and there, kpoh here and there. hahaha!

Things change. Almost everything has changed. A lot can happen in one year.

If I said that 2011 for me, is gonna be about me, how selfish would that sound? Not really totally about me that kind but like concentrate on nothing else except on continuously improving. Ok I'm not really sure how to put it and I'm not really sure about this one yet.

Wouldn't have gotten through the year without certain people. I love them - Sue Anne, Loreen, Evelyn, Chooi Ting, Grecia, Vil Sern, Hong Weng, Jia Hsin, Yun Kat, Kishen, Jic Kie, Shuhur, Esther, Kumara, JRclass, Infuse, GenerationOne, afewotherUTARpeople, family.

Being faced with uncertainty about what will happen in the year that comes, I know that I will remember each of you in your own special way, come what may, rain or shine. After all, you guys are now immortalized on my blog.

If I hate you at the end of 2011, at least I wrote down that I love you in 2010 then can remember already. Good idea wat! HAHA!

And though I dunno what 2011 will bring, I know that it will be a busy year. Final year undergraduate baby! It will be tough and busy but I will enjoy it to the max. Other than that, not really much expectations.

Maybe because at the end of this post, my mood suddenly changed. wth.

2011, will be yet another good year. I know it.

Booooo...........

2010-12-26T16:04:00.001+08:00

Yup everyone knows who's emo this season.

Guess what this emo girl does - camwhore

EMOticons.

Christmas

2010-12-24T21:27:00.001+08:00

What do I want for Christmas? I don't really want anything that anybody can give.

What I want is a peaceful meal. What I want is peace in the house for a day. What I want is being able to have lunch or dinner with my family and be happy with them for just two hours.

Is that asking for too much? How hard is it to have my mom, dad and Joel eating at the same table? Apparently quite impossible.

I have great friends, I'll be counting down Christmas with Vil Sern, Yun Kat, Jia Hsin, Hong Weng, Kishen and Infusers at Matt and Mindy's crib. I'll have a great time tonight.

My fault that I'm upset with the home situation. My fault that I can't be strong enough to stand it. My fault that I can't keep it peaceful even on Christmas.

It's Christmas Eve and I am close to tears. Screw me, I'm gonna plaster a smile on my face and go out.

What I want is Loreen. What I want is Sue Anne. What I want is my family. What I want is a hug from some one who understands this stupid struggle of mine to survive here.

If you can't give that to me, give me a Polaroid camera, the whole Narnia series of books by C.S. Lewis or more bling.

Merry Christmas!

Blah Blah Blah

2010-12-24T02:20:00.001+08:00

It has been quite some time since I've wrote anything of any substantial value and I find that I don't care. Most of it has been rants and emo stuff. The times when I feel like giving up the most are the times I know I should press forward even more. It's really selfish of me to think how it all affects me and only me when I know the others are going through a tougher time. Yea it's selfish but that's how I feel. I feel torn into two all the time and some times I'm so tired I just wanna drop onto the bed and sleep till oblivion comes. Like today when all I wanted was to grab a nap for half an hour but I couldn't cause calls kept coming in for me to help. I don't get why can't a person just tell everything in one single phone call. She called me more than 10 times in the space of an hour, it's so frustrating. I really don't feel like talking to anybody at all. I feel like getting outta the house constantly but when I'm out, I don't feel like acting happy but I act like nothing is bothering me anyway because I don't wanna drag it around with me. Then there's this girl who I'm friends with who keeps adding all my friends on Facebook, even those I've never introduced before. Attention seeking much? I don't know what her problem is but I don't need jealous friends to surround me in my life. What I need is good, dependable friends who won't entice me to waste my life away by drinking, smoking or doing nothing. I knew that he came back the other day and when I saw him, it took everything in me not to yell at him or throw something or just give him a huge hug. There were so many things I wanted to say so I said nothing. Nothing as in zero. Ignore the whole night. How stupid of me. I miss having him as a friend so much. Some people just don't get hints. I never answer his calls and never reply his texts and never reply him on chat. I've blocked him on Facebook and he still wants to come looking for me. Shit him la I won't be his call girl to cheat on his girl friend. There are those I suspect like me a lot, acting like the perfect gentleman to me but I don't wanna do anything because all I feel is awkwardness and weirdness and I know that I'm not looking for any relationship because all I wanna do is be left alone. I don't know if I will ever dare to love another again that way. Now is definitely not the right time. In the future maybe. When's the right age to get married anyway? There are people offering to bring me to so called awesome clubs in KL where it doesn't matter if I'm legal or not because they have VIP access and bla bla bla but I don't wanna go at all. What's the point of going? I feel suffocated in my own home. I need fresh air. Screw it. He keeps calling me every night from UK. Sometimes I pretend that I'm asleep already. He's asked me to be his girlfriend so many times through the phone but frankly, I just don't want to. Friends who know him as well have warned me away from him. I heed my need to follow their advice. Christmas is tomorrow and I'm gonna be spending the time counting down with people I love so much. Am thinking of going off somewhere on my own. Yeah I do realize that this post is all over the place hence the paragraphing, or lack of it. My thoughts are all over the place so it suits me to be all jumbled up.

Wanted:

2010-12-22T16:23:00.000+08:00

More to improve and fewer to disapprove.

More doers and fewer talkers.

More to say it can be done

And fewer to say it's impossible.

More to inspire others

And fewer to throw cold water on them.

More to get into the thick of things

And fewer to sit on the sidelines.

More to point out what's right

And fewer to show what's wrong.

More to light a candle

And fewer to curse the darkness

- AUTHOR UNKNOWN -

French wor

2010-12-15T21:19:00.001+08:00

I need to rant a bit.

BLAH I HATE LEARNING AND STUDYING FRENCH FOR EXAMS!!!!

Makes me feel as if I'm gonna die.

5 People.

2010-12-14T06:08:00.001+08:00

He keeps asking, "At the end, who will always be there for me?". I am right under his nose and he can't see. For almost ten years I've been his friend through the good stuff and bad stuff. Sucks to be dumped to one side by a friend and not be noticed now.

Yup I need the attention. I crave it endlessly.

If ever he one day wakes up,realizes that I was there all along and should have grabbed hold of the chance when he had it, I will be far gone by then. Talk about poetic justice.

Despite my sudden, desperate need for attention, I wanna be left alone. I am alone but not lonely.

Yet another boy who asked me to be his girlfriend today got turned down. Rejection sucks and I feel bad but he took it well *applause*

I do wanna be alone. I do I do. I should think I've gotten quite used to it now.

And another who said today, "You're pretty. My heart fluttered when I saw you the other day."

One I would actually imagine myself spending the rest of my life with but when talking to me made him feel guilty, I don't think so. Being alone is better than being with the wrong person.

Tiffany Oon i love you...!!! - a tag on Facebook by a friend.

That's where I get the loving from. From friends. Yes, I will survive anything and everything when surrounded by friends and family who love me.

5 different people, 5 different thoughts and emotions.

A friend who turned his back, the past, a denial, a wish, a friend who loves me.

5. Just 5.

I'm in an emo, stressed up, dramatic mood. I write better in this mood.

My words seem to flow poetically though thus far it has come out, far from poetic.

My thoughts on the other hand, are stagnant and can only think of one thing - food.

My Fat Baby

2010-12-08T03:27:00.001+08:00

Guardian of my heart. I love him with all of mine.

He looks so fierce here :) Guard dog

I Carry in My Heart

2010-12-08T03:03:00.000+08:00

I kill any feelings I have whatsoever for you or anyone else, no matter what it takes. I don't want you. I don't want anybody. I just wanna be left alone.

Getting a boyfriend anytime I want is easy but I wanna be left alone. I wanna be left alone I wanna be left alone I wanna be left alone.

This is my choice!

Don't any of you get it? Looking for leng zai or cute boys, is all just an act. Usually don't even look. Just glance and go "oh okay whatever I'm hungry".

So bored ok. So bored.

If you love me so much like how you say, leave me alone.

I know that no matter what you say, I will just be your toy, your entertainment for you when you are bored, lonely or want something. Actions speak louder than words. You will never love me. Just like how I will never love you.

Hou farn you know!

*throws chair*

HIS SKIN IS THICKER THAN A BULL'S HIDE, IT'S JUST UNBELIEVABLE. I'VE COME TO THE ALMOST END OF MY THETHER. LEAVE ME ALONE.

2010-12-07T00:40:00.000+08:00

Cheated On and Cheated With

2010-12-06T06:08:00.000+08:00

I am on the verge of pulling the hair out. DOES HE NOT GET IT???

So she is just your trophy? Something you can own? Is faithfulness a foreign word to you? You claim to love her with all your heart, say you wanna marry her. Yet your actions say the total opposite. You cheat on her, go behind her back.

You love her? Every single time you say that, every single time I read it, I laugh out loud. You love her? Why are you still coming to find me every time she leaves the continent? Even just for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. You cannot wait?

So what? Want me to be your "partner" when she is gone and dump me one side when she is back? Dream on. Life is not that easy. I know what I am to you. I know who I am. I am nothing to you. I can act bimbo but my brains are working over time, most of the time and I am way smarter and stronger than you.

I pity the girl the most. I sympathize with her. She love you so much, she give you everything, she sacrifice so much for you, she gave you her HEART. And what do you do? You treat her like shit. When she finds out then what? What ya gonna do? Just reading her blog and Facebook account, I can know that she is very sensitive and emotional and many things she does, relies on her feelings. It will feel to her as if you had taken her heart, stomped all over it, dragged it through the mud, tossed it into a fire then gave it back to her.

I know what it is like to be cheated on. It created a dark spot in my heart and the pain was unbearable. It made me question my worth and my own beauty. It made me wonder if I was good enough or not. I felt absolutely worthless. Like a piece of trash, thrown away without a second thought. Valued at nothing.

Then the walls are built, surrounding and protecting my heart from further hurt. Not realizing that with every wall erected, I am locking the already wounded heart away from the things and people that can help heal it. Isolation and loneliness comes, but the wall is there. No one can get in to hurt it more. No one can get in to help heal it either.

So I won't be the one. I won't be the one who will be labeled 'cheated with' or 'the other girl'. I already block you from social networking sites. I am not willing to change my number for an asshole like you. Please just leave me alone. You can give me nothing and I don't want to have anything to do with you.

Then again, she's a problem as well. Forever naive and gullible. Melting at the honey coated words he is so clever to paint. I wish she would just grow up, open her eyes and start thinking with her head. Seriously. Too bad I can't force her to do that.

Love is a commitment. If you be neither faithful or truthful to your dear baby, please just dump her. It would be the better or two evils.

The other way would be, she wakes up and realizes what an asshole you are then makes her own decision what to do.

Once bitten, twice shy.

Twice bitten, never try.

Thrice bitten, she can go and die.

Taking Sides

2010-12-02T02:46:00.002+08:00

When we ended our contract, I never force any of you all to take sides. I didn't! I know that we are mutual friends so I didn't say anything in front of any of you. I never ask any of you to not be friends with him anymore because of me.

I can't stand being within a 500m radius of him without throwing up it's okay. It's my problem. I never said you all have to stop hanging out with him. He wanna talk shit about me to you all and after he does, you don't wanna be friends with me anymore, I don't really mind. He wanna 'pull' you all to his side also don't matter.

I don't think it is worth it if you all don't know the difference between truth and lie and I think if a friend can let himself be 'pulled' away, he's not a real friend.

But it still hurts a lot to lose certain friends =(

Why the hell Ipoh have to be so damn small?

MORE Thoughts

2010-11-28T22:38:00.001+08:00

This blog has failed to be the therapeutic release it was meant to be when I first started it. When I first started blogging, it was meant to be an outlet for angsty teenage self and to occasionally make people laugh. When I got older however, I some how managed to get even more angry at everything and anything.

People will always talk no matter what. If you make a mistake, people talk. If you do bad, people talk. If you do good also people talk. Most of it is just noise. Most of the time, they don't know the whole story, just bits and pieces, filling in the blanks themselves and more often than not, a whole different thing comes out.

It has been ages since I've cared about what people said about me. Ever since lower secondary, I have been the target of a lot of their gossip. Some one told me before that it comes with the territory of being a state swimmer. You are popular but popularity comes with a price.

It used to affect me so much. It affected my self esteem and worth. I got over it long ago though and now when people say anything, I just shrug it off with the smug knowledge that what they say will never affect me anymore.

I have a lot of frustration in me. I have got to find a proper way to let it out.

Thoughts

2010-11-27T01:52:00.000+08:00

I don't like it that I have a soft spot for him. That no matter what he does or says, I have so far, always forgiven him. It has always been that way ever since primary school. Up till now. That is a very very long time.

If I didn't have that soft spot for him, I would've gone off my hook ages ago. I don't like it that I just can't do that to him ever.

The worst thing is that he can make me feel so rejected even though I guess he doesn't mean to do that. I hate that!

If we didn't share so many years together. If I didn't see him at least 4 hours a day, everyday, for almost 4 years. If he had said something sooner. If he hadn't left. If he hadn't been there almost all my life for me.

If if if if if if IF.... PPPFFFFFFTTTTTttttttttttt........

I know he cares for me a lot. He has said it more than once to me. That is not enough. I care for him a lot as well. That is not enough either.

I WANT THIS CLOSET

2010-11-21T11:43:00.003+08:00

WALK IN CLOSETS.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

MY FAVOURITE SCENE IN TOY STORY 3.

MAJOR LOVE

HHAHAHAHAHA

A Short Quiet Break

2010-11-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

I posted this status awhile ago.

Then a day later, a guy who I haven't talked to in ages, who's name I will not disclose, sent me this.

haha made me happy.

I also found this news article about me way back ago randomly. Click here to read it.

Two weekends in a row in Kampar.

Public Administration Class I Think Not

2010-11-15T13:10:00.002+08:00

I'm in class right now. Public Administration. It's my last political science paper and I just want an A in it that's all. I can't seem to concentrate though and that sucks much.

I think there's too much on my mind right now. Way too much. I might have taken on more than I should have. I'm so tired.

Throughout my whole degree life, never once did I NOT pass up an assignment or didn't make it to a presentation. Even if sleepless nights were to happen, sleepless nights it was! Like last semester, with everything going on, I still managed.

Now though, it has been an ongoing 4 nights of restless sleep. Maybe about 3 to 4 hours a night. Tonight, I'm gonna sleep as early as possible. There's a SRC meeting tonight with all the club chairmen so I've gotta get through that first.

THEN I'M GONNA SLEEP KAO KAO!!!

Public admin presentation later, SRC meeting at night, French midterm and listening test on Saturday. 1Malaysia and SRC Deepavali Celebrations on Sunday, christmas dance and costume, Mindy and Matt's baby shower, UTAR Ball, meet academic advisor, choose next semester's timetable, orientation and collection drives.

T_T sorry. I can't find my organizer.

Oh and I have to clean my Kampar room. I know I've said it probably a few hundred times already but I never exactly got around to doing it. I don't let people in cause it looks like a war zone. A hurricane hit it when I was sleeping.

Suddenly I feel overwhelmed by everything. I don't know if I can handle it. Which one take priority? Which one is more important? Which is more important in my quest to take over the world?

Naik gila. Sigh.

What I wanna do is throw my hands in the air and scream as loud as I can to let it all out. I haven't just screamed out loud in a very long time. People look at me like a siao cha bor if I do. Maybe I should grab some people and go to Jalan Mati and run amok for a bit. How? Any takers? Just go there and scream.

So far I've managed to find something to smile about and then I just plaster the smile on my face. The smile is genuine. I even smile to myself in the mirror. Might be forced at times but it is there cause when it is there. I smile and I feel prettier and therefore I feel better about myself.

Oh and I like some one. A lot. LOL wth Fern, you don't have time for yourself, much less time for anyone else. Ok so what do I do?

Sighhhh. I need a break. A holiday. OBVIOUSLY. Time to rejuvenate and recharge :)

你去死吧

2010-11-11T02:00:00.012+08:00

For very long I didn't talk about you. I didn't think about you. I take it as if you are dead. We have many mutual friends. When they mention your name, it is as if I don't even know who it is. When we meet each other, I am looking at air only.

You think it is very hard to forget some one. Yes. Usually it is very hard. But it was very easy to forget you. Once I put my mind to it, you are easily forgotten. It is really as if you are non existent.

Until today I suddenly thought of you.

The verdict still stands: 你去死吧.

I am very happy. My life is going well. My studies is going well. Everyday is filled with activities. I have many responsibilities. I have many friends around me. Today I came out a champion in the competition. I am honestly, truly, happy.

Then I accidentally thought of you. I wonder if you are happy. I wonder what your life is like. Have you found the 'peace' you always talk about? I wonder how your family is.

Then I carried on doing my stuff as if nothing is wrong. And I realize that inside me, I can think to myself, "Oh okay" and then just feel empty and emotionless. As if hey, you really really are non existent.

There's a saying that says, "if it still hurts, you still care." I don't hurt anymore but that doesn't mean I wish to connect back with you. You can't affect me anymore.

[To those who are not comfortable saying his name or talking bout him in front of me in fear that it might trigger some hurt or anger in me, talk whatever you want, anytime la.]

You know that I understand you. As much as you will hate and refuse to admit it now, you just know that I do understand. Until now, you still think of me. Until now, you still think that no one will understand you except for your mother. Until now, you still think to yourself "why me?"

You know that I know many many many things and you are wondering why I didn't just spill everything out when I was so angry with you. After all, I am perfectly capable of letting everyone know right? I know that you read this blog. I know that many people read. If I wanna let everyone know, it would be easy..... right?

I didn't spill everything I know out because it affects other people and not just you. If it were just you, maybe everything will come out back then. I don't know. Maybe. We'll never know now will we?

Don't need to worry, I never whispered a word to anyone, not back then and not now. I won't.

Does your girlfriend know? It is your choice if you want to tell her. Will or does she understand? That is up to you to decide. I wish the both of you all happiness, as long as the both of you don't disturb me. Enjoy the moments. One day it will end. You know it and I know it.

既然你那么爱她, 那你就尽情地抱着她过世吧

OKH, consider this a long long text from me. Deleted your number a long long time ago.

Kthxbai.

Life's Good

2010-11-10T15:52:00.001+08:00

This year was supposed to be my year. It didn't exactly look that way the first half of 2010. I was so emo I don't know how the people around me could stand it. Thank you so much for being there still. You know what? The year has turned around and has been getting better and better as the days pass.

I think I'm a pretty emotional person some times. As much as I like thinking that I can be as emotionless or cold blooded or 'tidak apa' as I have to be, I don't think I am. People and situations do affect me a lot at times. I am not emotionless as some people think I am.

Some times I can still emo, I know that some times I snap at people a lot, my words are sharp more often than not, control freak some times and so on and so on. I know my weaknesses. I'm working on it okay. Give me more time.

I hate it the most when I am sad. The feeling sucks to the max. When the feeling comes, it is so random, I don't know why.

So I make sure that I am busy or that I have some thing to do at least or my days will be full with activities. I will find people to go out with. I will concentrate on a task. Then I will forget to be sad and be awesome and happy instead.

Like for example, this week I don't have time to be sad or upset over anything unless I let myself be that way by dwelling on some crap. I don't have time because yesterday I had a midterm and SRC meeting, today I had a treasure hunt, tomorrow I have stuff on and Friday there's the Joint Operasi Larang Gathering. Assignments to pass up, UTAR Ball 2011 to plan, SRC stuff, Christmas to think about.... I don't need all this emotional crap.

Oh and as for Yellue!, I wrote the post below at first in support of their campaign. Didn't really think of winning. Then I wanted to win but I didn't ='( . Got a consolation prize as a finalist though. I think the girl who won deserved it. It is damn freaking hard to get people to go 'like' your blog post on Facebook, trust me.

But our team won the Yellue! hunt and I feel very happy. Me, Rachael, Chin Eng, Hong Weng and Vil Sern signed up as a team and we had fun all the way. Loves!

There are many many things coming up soon and I love it that my schedule is so full. I am happily moving forward because things ahead just have to be better. I insist on it.